One part of one poker existence.

STL FAN

STL FAN

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Four cross roads all leading back to this point. Four separate ways, that has no way of knowing the other, all leading to one crossroad. Maddening to think about really. How do I even know they all lead back to one crossroad? What is the point of uncertainty, which leads me not to choose my own road separate from the others? What hooks my mind to the point of the same autobahn of decisions; what am I missing?


Pain, uncertainty, fear, doubt, the very tools that have made me successful have now consumed my mind. How did this come to pass? Is it an illusion that is playing a trick on my poker decisions? I am still confident, successful, but my thoughts of what is success have certainly been divided in my mind. Have I lost passion? How did I succumb? How do I find my way back? How do I find my way forward? Is there a perfect “yellow brick road”?


In my mind I was never lost, but my message to myself is just like misinformation at the table; is what I am seeing correct to make the proper play? I tell myself not to react, but if I do not react then I miss making the proper play? Leaving things behind that have been a constant way of thinking now has to be changed. It is like a long stretch of road, that I must give up, to take an unsure path that has no promises of certain direction to the right destination.


How can this be, I work on getting empirical information to make the proper decisions. I look for the right play not necessarily the best play. This leads me back to a question, how do I make the proper decision if I am waiting for the best play? I miss to react to the situation against an opponent but reacting does not know? This can encompass more than one decision of one session. The illusion in my mind can create more than I can empirically know about my situation at any one time. How do I keep from falling behind my own expectations? How did my poker existence change from “being for itself” to “being of itself”?


Faith, winning, losing, choosing, it still comes back to faith. Faith to what is being taught, seen, to know something is proper that I cannot even see. Faith is accepting what is being taught is for the greater good of knowing, reacting, improving, finding my own path to create new roads, to finally understand that the crossroads were only created in my mind. I can remove them just as I put them there, but faith reveals the seeing of the crossroads as merely an illusion of uncertainty, fear, pain, and doubt created by me not wanting to accept what is true from which I could not see.
 
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STL FAN

STL FAN

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What motivates me? Listening to music, pain from lyrics, I can repeat the words, somehow, I know, and remember all the words. Flow of the music, beats, rhythm, rhymes, all that would encompass a world of motivation to know the words. Passion from the video I watch, strength from what I feel, from how they present their story.


Sometimes it is like a burning hell from within when I stumble on the felt. The same happens when I get the words wrong, even though, I mastered the lyrics; the order escapes me in the moment. I will abide, and then I lie to myself, why should I lie when I know I can just replay and get them right? Seems pointless to even write? But hey the passion not wanting to get the lyrics wrong is the same drive to figure out when the better tight player is now changing gears with two napkins.


The dynamic shift is what I recognize, but am I reacting to a good hand instead? Why? Because I shift dynamics but mostly the shift is because of the cards, and not making a true table dynamic shift that needs no cards. I can shift table dynamics freely but do not open up properly in proper moments for reasons that I have not figured out about myself. I do not give the right credit to the right player in the moment? The reason, universally people will usually only shift when they have a hand they have waited for not because of recognizing this is the proper play that a change of table dynamics would suggest. But this buy in is not the one I am used to. Now similar situations arise that my brain is now locked up. My thought process is shut down. Unconscious competence is gone; conscious thought about my situation, what do I do? Remember the 15,000 plus tournament hands in similar situations? The hook brings me back to the point of not knowing my situation with clear understanding, now on which do I rely?


How did I miss this again? How did another see this but it escaped me? Flow, passion, rhythm, balance, how do I master the change just like the flow of the game? In the moment the player who now has a hand from previous information is now just making a move because of the point in the game? I see but have no courage, I know the words but they escape in the moment. I see the change but only act when I know it. If I can master the words eventually I will master the change as well.


I played in a $6.00 R/A $1500.00 GTD Saturday night. I saw the change early; it is easier for me to see the change in a LAG, especially a poor one. The early part of the game I took advantage, and also balanced this with my normal play. Gathered many chips, but as time went along, deeper into the game I found myself not remembering the words. The order in which I know them now are erased in my mind. In myself, I see some of the other players, the better players; it is though I am playing against my style, myself in their style. It is hard for me to jump at the chance because of what I know about myself in what I am reading at the table. It is like a trap in my mind because of how I play. It is as if I am now handcuffed in these situations. This is where I stumble; I refer back to the many deep trenches of improper play in my mind. Even though, I finished 6th I felt I was the one who was hanging on and not in command of my own outcome. I do better in a lower buy in but I want to improve, accept the challenge of better players. Somehow get the flow, the words, the important changes in the game, the opponents, try and hit the moving target.
 
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STL FAN

STL FAN

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Explaining how one existence feels, growing pains from learning, trials and errors. Now just like at the table who can adjust and how fast can they catch on to the subtle switch of table dynamics? A person can really recognize who are the good players and bad players based on information that is not obvious.


I have read many posts in this forum about various types of information; for example, people having others analyze their numbers of their frequency of voluntary putting money in the pot, three and four betting frequency. Other posts about hand ranges for shoving, calling depending upon specific information about an opponent, poker books about equilibrium, aggression, math based information; I have read, played against, and been exposed to this since I have started playing.


However, this is a broad perspective about poker that I am trying to be specific in explaining. Most, all of this information has been setting in my brain with no proper way of using this information except on a straight line; for example, I was using this on a one way street both ways.


Now tactics, how does this change the wheel? It does not but I understand the wheel better than most of my opponents even though, my opponents are not bad players; it is the next part some are not quite confident enough to exploit consistently because of their own short comings. I am trying to master those short comings.


For example, changing table dynamics, in early game situations, in early position; I look for people whom are trying to three bet light in position against either me or others because of either trying to exploit situations to set image or they might just have a hand?


I am willing to four bet light because they are expecting a flat or a fold, if they blink, if they flat or fold, I now understand how confident they are pre-flop, if they four bet me then I will assess the situation, if I do not have a hand to continue I fold knowing they have hand. Most because they are either not as experienced, confident, or they are card dependent will only four and five bet with high ev hands. I am willing to find their threshold early without cards or when I have cards to them this appears the same. When I have made my opponent react or I caught them three betting light, I now have many options of play that have been setting in my brain with no previous way to use as a tactical advantage; that would not produce positive results so, before I would just observe, take in the information and not act on what was observed. The lack of courage, confidence, the fear of the unknown resided here before I was willing to change.


Whether I exploit a good or bad player, my table image, the change of dynamics and how, when, why is now seen by the table. The only thing that might not be seen is my cards, in this either or situation of having or not having cards, I can now play off of the change of this dynamic. Does the table understand? Which or how many people will either put themselves in a box or have I put them in the box? How reactive is each opponent? Did this tighten the table? Did this loosen up the table? I have to adjust, assess, what is happening as it happens from this point forward. Then do my best to allow my opponents to choose freely to make the wrong adjustment against me to further enhance my hold on table dynamics.


Now I can adjust and look for empirical information based on the little amount of information. What I am looking for is a threshold and a ceiling for which to understand in my mind how much of an opening there are between their two identifying thinking routines. For example, if a person is willing to open with no thought about hand selection in early position and defend their hands to a reraise, but will routinely bet their top range hands differently now I have an opening to drive a truck through.


I can exploit them pre-flop or drag them post flop and abuse them with my passive aggressive post flop skills; whether I am in or out of positon; ultimately position is not the most important factor, it comes down can I make my position absolute and make their positon relative? If their position is only relative then they are worried about my tactics. If the opening is narrow I have either not done my job or I have not identified their mistakes quickly enough. I must make this type define their abilities because this is where the tight bad players or the tight good players reside.


To sum this part up, this allows me to be a step ahead or a mile ahead of my opponents, I can assess successfully how confident, reactive, estimation of knowledge, how they view me, how I view myself, do they know the tactics beyond their highest level of tactics that I have observed so far? When I am wrong about my reads, off on my game, only displaying by “B” game, I can always adjust, tighten up and play my “A” passive, ethical, card dependent poker, then change gears, change table dynamics and start the wheel spinning all over again. I am willing within reason, logic, commonsense, poker knowledge, as some examples, to exploit, bring out of my opponents, their individual strengths and weakness to allow them to train themselves to my play because being reactive allows me to be active in a positive ev manner with and without cards. Leaning on my opponents pre-flop, especially as the game winds down, this is done methodically, this enhances my opponents to either fight back at the wrong times, become card dependent looking for good cards, or they mentally give up.
 
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STL FAN

STL FAN

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Assessing information from moving up from one level from the level below; I have had the bank roll to support the $5.00 and $10.00 9 max. SNG, $10.00- $20.00 MTT for about a year and a half. However, mentally my game could not support the swings; maybe this was all just an excuse? I was comfortable playing in the $1.50 and $3.00 9 max SNG, $1.00-$5.00 MTT levels.

The variance swings from the lower level could be maddening and to combat this I would have to chat after when short term results did not go my way, journal to help cope with short term variance, or both. Because playing at lower buy ins, I knew the goal was the top three, small buy ins need to win more than min cash to be profitable. Mentally the game was simple, exploit when I had them crushed, set and wait, and repeat when possible. Final table, aggression with the information learned, play for the final three, then heads up, win heads up. MTT and SNG the strategy from one helped with the other, one is just as important as the other. Practice the strategy from one because of one table, because of seeing all stages of an MTT or final table from a one table SNG, understand, know, apply this to a long run MTT and use all the MTT information, experience, knowledge from my game to flourish in the other.

People playing in the lower levels, there are a mix of people, from the mix some are slumming down to play the lower buy ins, multi tabling is the most common, however, before moving up I pulled up tables of the next level. Most of the people are the same, this is part of why I was reluctant to move up, logic told me, why would I want to lose a bigger buy in against the same people that were playing from behind against me and winning?

Mentally, this was my block or one part of many blocks? Just like when things happen for a reason or the need to challenge myself, or the real reason my coach asked me why are you slumming at the lower levels? His push in this area, challenging my thought process in a game when I thought a player had cards; they actually were just making a move on me. This buildup of emotion had me journal my thoughts and assess what I was waiting for, why I could not produce the play from the talent I knew I had. I could talk a mean game at the lower levels but felt I was scared money at the next level.

After watching the next level, I was understanding, knew I could play at the next level especially in the one table SNG. From working on what I had been struggling with from prior responses to myself on this thread. I decided to give this a fair shot and play with the same mindset of winning but the difference is a person can show profit from having some min cashes mixed in with some wins from sample sizes of ten buy ins as an example.

The game in my mind was the same for me; however, I noticed my opponents were playing tighter, money I believe this has them playing different than that of the level below that I was accustomed to playing with them. They would still make some critical mistakes; play from behind at the wrong time as some examples. What I had been working on now has the desired results that were not happening at the level below. Funny, this level is actually mentally easier than the level below, not as much stress because the play is proper for longer stretches, the game dynamics, and table dynamics, player dynamics are more stable and easier to exploit. Confidence here is higher than the level below.

Here is my first small sample of 10 $5.00 SNG 9 max, 3 firsts, 3 seconds, 2 thirds, and 2 bubbles. I spent four days playing the 10 games mixed in with other MTT tournaments. Because I play one table at a time, take mental breaks, to refresh, and reset my brain. I have had success in the $3.00 $ 150.00 GTD with one hour late reg. $4.40 $250.00 GTD 6 max one hour late reg. I won the $150.00 GTD two nights ago, fifth in the $250.00 GTD a few days ago. My first $ 16.00 $500.00 GTD one hour late reg. Unlike the other two this one had my favorite 15 min blinds, the others were 10 and 12 min blinds. Last night I took second in the $500.00 GTD.

Mentally, last night’s game was draining and found myself fortunate to take second. The game was different than I have experienced before because of how long I had to keep playing instead of trying to wait for cards. Even though, I might have got caught it did not deter me from continuing what I knew was the right game theory because of what I knew about how the people were playing in this game. I still had to tighten up at certain times but always went back to entering in pots to attempt to take dead money without showdown. This allowed me to disguise my holdings optimally, put pressure on the right people, change or play within the table dynamics confidently as some examples. However, I played one $10.00 SNG 9 max and finished 7th because of my short comings, I am going to continue to play the $5.00 SNG 9 max to accumulate a bigger sample size, adjust if necessary, add in new information, see how my game plays for a bigger sample size before determining more of a conclusion. This allows me to see if my play is optimal, if short term variance is the reason for the early success, adjust, keep building my game, and accumulate more information to analyze.
 
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