Once its gone its gone?
In my experience poker is not gambling, it is risk assessment, it is an investment to gain from the information provided (from the players actions etc).
Ive had Pokertracker for the last 10,000 hands(NL cash game), and over those hands I have won $300 in 25NL, and lost $190 in 100NL in about 20 mins(a recent loss which is what has compelled me to write this post), I have constantly had this cycle, even before poker tracker, I just cant resist taking a shot with a small bankroll at the $1 tables.. and litrally cant resist.. like a gambling "addiction" .. obvliously I dont want to lose but thats what happens, everytime because I am not ready for those tables with my bankroll the way it is. therefore I should not play these tables, but of course I want to advance, and that desire always gets me stuck.
At this moment in time, I have cashed everything from my poker account and the most recent "shot" at the $1 with a small bankroll, lead to the complete loss of the bankroll, of 190.. ( my usual bankroll is $250 per 25NL session, but i had cashed out my profits by this time)
What I am asking is.. can I justify using my own money to buy back in, with the premise alone that I am a winning player, and that i wont take any more shots unless i have sufficient bankroll, I just wanna know what is the point. Because outside looking in( ie girlfriend, parents, bank manager) it just looks like im a gambler, which i know i am not.
So basically I consider myself a winning player, and ive just had a big loss (for me). Should I quit while im ahead. Or stick to my ways and "invest" in my poker ability?
this post is personal about me, but really its a big question I know others must be asking everytime they see that $0.00 in the account. this time ive just voiced it. would appreciate any feedback good or bad, and any similar stories or advice...