re: Poker & I am the worst player ever!
This is not to be taken as a criticism of you or your play, but just making a general overall comment here.
It is not uncommon for the chipleader after the first break to be knocked out of the tournament well before the money, much less before the final table (where the money is concentrated). Typically, the chipleader has made some reckless (dare I say, donkey-like) plays and gotten away with it - the law of averages will catch up to him soon enough, however, and he'll be soon gone.
I think this is why you never see the Day 1 CL of the WSOPME make it to the final table, as well.