Ahh Jim,
ya do what ya gotta do. the right thing ain't allways the easiest. My sympathies to ya.
A friend of mine with an autistic boy moved to the country. He rents a big double wide trailer on a large fenced piece of property. His boy is a powerhouse of energy, if you could tap that boys output you could probably light the city of San Diego for a week.
When they first moved there he used to put a leash on him with dog run style wires so he had the run of the yard. (Folks to some of you this may sound mean, but this was just the right thing to do with this boy.) The boy LOVED being outside alone and would run all over the yard all day, eventually got interested in digging in the dirt.
As the boy got older my friend learned how to teach and trust his boy to stay on the property, within the fence and no longer needed the leash. One of the boys most prized possesions was a shovel, it's almost like therapy I guess, that boys digs and digs and digs, he pretty much was cutting a swath in the hillside just because he likes to dig.
I haven't seen these friends in years, I've forgotten thier names, a nice couple, with the autisic boy and a daughter who helped considerably to take care of her little brother. They hardly ever went anywhere because they were too busy watching after the boy, big believers in natural selection and not wanting to drug thier child with riddlin or other meds.
I do wonder sometimes what ever happend to them, I lost interest in HAM radio which is how we met and have been involved in other stuff. That boy must be 15 or so by now. I wonder how hes turned out. Really good people I should see if I can look them up.
I know it's rough Jim, have a disabled child of my own, not autistic but special needs require patience and special attention. Myself I just try to stay sunny and optomistic, not always easy but there it is.