The Funny Things Bad Players Say

That was just unlucky, I just got unlucky

I have one where I was the idiot.

At a live MTT they kept pausing the clock to break tables as we were knocking players out. I am not used to this as most places I play don't pause the clock for this until there is a re-draw usually at 2 or 1 tables remaining.

anways....it was starting to annoy me so I said: "I wish they'd stop pausing the clock for this every 10 minutes. Especially since we only have 20 minute blinds"

to which the dealer responded "It's because the blinds are short that they are doing it...people were complaining when they didn't pause the clock"

oh....duh!

I beated Romanian with KQ suited against 22 and he called me fkin russian communist But I am latvian lol
And later he wrote: if there was 2 on the flop I would beat you

lol its very funny when a bad player complain about his bad luck after he plays a hand wrong. the best example is when they go all in with k10 offsuit preflop someone call with AQ suit, the flop is K105 then turn 2 and river J, so they will argue they were unlucky, which in fact it is true, ( after the flop). however on the other site K10 isnt a hand to go all in preflop in the first time. ( considering these player wasnt short stacked)

OMG this one happened yesterday at a live $340 buy in tourney.

guy has been splashing around in like 70% of pots.

so there is 1 mid position limper, this guy limps along from his button, the SB limps and the BB checks his option.

Flop comes QT4 all clubs. everyone checks the flop
turn is a red J everyone checks the turn
river is a red Ace

so any K makes a straight, and there are lots of likely 1 and 2 pair combinations, not to mention the 3 clubs on the flop.

it checks around to the button who checks behind and flips over 93 of clubs...he flopped the flush and checked every single street in position!

then he says "Too many clubs out there for my comfort" as he happily rakes the small pot. WTF were you playing 93 of clubs for then? were you hoping to flop a boat?

There was a player in the hand who actually had a K for broadway and probably would have called a nice size river bet too....

I had AK, other guy had AA, out comes 10 J 2, then 8, then Q. Guy says...."I f'n had you before the flop, how can you call my all in?"
Guy pushed 30 bucks in the pot and was his all in lol.....at 1/2

It's why I hate online poker....live poker is just flat out entertaining.

"Good luck All-in!"

This hand I spectated had me cracking up in a micro MTT when I first started playing(Don't mind my horrible stats LOL)

If it is hard for you to read the text it says

"u dont even pay attention do u, clueless idiot, look at the line i took"

"*** u *****"

and look at the dudes stats, haha

we are playing with friends is 7 people trying to play together at the cash tables and only as we do expect these people ) and affectionately call them Crazy

Four Dogs said:

I heard this last night and it was all I could do to keep from falling off my chair in laughter. This annoying older guy to my right has been yacking in my ear for hours. I had been friendly with him but he was really very unlikable.

A hand came down that he had limped into and I had folded. The flop came out something like and someone made a pot sized bet. He grunted a little, mucked his cards and made a comment about how he never hits his flops. Anyway, the bet was called and the turn was . "Sonovabitch" he whispers in my ear. "I folded , if that turn card was the instead of the I'd have a flush draw now."

Click to expand...

oh wow thats a good 1.

I was playing a 1/2 live game. I had KQ on the button MP raised. I called. Flopped the straight. Even better, the villain flopped a set of Jacks. He bets, I call. He bets, I call. He shoves the river, I still have the nuts and I have him covered, so great. The villain stands up leaning over the table, throws his cards down and looks like he's ready to scoop in the pot. Dealer informs him I have a straight. He's so focused on his own cards that it doesn't register at first.

He says something at me I don't catch, but I do hear the player next to him say the words "flopped straight." Words that the villain repeats a few times while staring at the board before turning to leave. The dealer starts to gather the cards. The guy whirls around, the dealer freezes and he says frantically, "Did the board pair? Did the board pair?" He leans over the table staring at the board and we're all still, silent and thinking... no, the board didn't pair... no, we all didn't miss your boat. Then he storms out.

DunningKruger said:

I was bluffing when I called you on the river there.

Click to expand...

lol. I like that. The funny thing is, I think this might work in some cases. I once called a river bet thinking that I had a flush (I didn't) and the other guy insta mucked his his hand. I've noticed that it's pretty common for someone to do this rather than suffer the indignity of showing their crappy cards, in which case I guess you could call just as a bluff. In most casinos you have to show to win of course but once they've mucked their cards it's all academic. I've been dying to try this out for real but I'm waiting for the right situation. Maybe some loudmouth lagtard who will then proceed to call me down for the rest of the night with king high.

Hear this one last night at Foxwoods.

2 limpers. Player bets $40 into a $7 pot. Everyone folds. Raiser shows TT and says "I hate pocket tens. They're just a little worse than Jacks."

Paragon said:

Ok no joke that is REALLY funny. He doesn't even know the odds.

Click to expand...

I think 75 percent who plays generally do not consider the odds card which they have !!! not to mention the fact that people play with 7-2 8-5 and so on do not see the logic of the game is the FISH

"I hate Ace King."

Mr Sandbag said:

"I hate Ace King."

Click to expand...

And the corollary: "I hate aces."

MK8 said:

I open raised JJ at 1/2 playing live. A guy with about $140 stack says "Alright, take my money I need to get out of here. It folds back to me and i'm sitting there thinking he's angling me so I'm debating a fold. I'm too much of a donk so i end up calling and he flips over 74o and i hold. He then says gg and casually gets up from the table and leaves. I was dumbfounded as to why he didn't just cash out his chips.

Click to expand...

He obviously must have thought he was in a tournament, not a cash game. Even if you are down to $1 in a cash game you can still cash out. I don't understand why I see people feeling need to grind down theirstacks at a cash game rather than just take what you have left and go. In a cash game, you always have the ability to simply walk away with what you ahve left yet I will see people just throw in all their chips simply because they are shortstacked.

I and a friend of mine we're playing cash game. I had QQ en he had J7-off. The flop came J 7 3, turn 3, river X. He wanted to take the pot because he thought that he had 3 pairs.

I love it when a player says he has something and then I call him out on it and find out he was lying trying to get me to fold. In general, I never believe what poker players say at the table. I won't intentionally call to see if they were lying but I sure as hell will not allow what a poker player says to change my decisions.

My very first tournament in Atlantic City about 6 years ago I wind up busting this woman out of the tournament and she just had so much to say on her way out....she really hated me so much i think because I called her bluff and as a result busted her out of the tournament. But i just remember thinking to myself "why does this woman hate me so much?" I didn't say anything back to her and everyone at the table starting saying things like "i can't believe you let her talk to you like that." and my reply was "I knew she was talking on her way out.....as far as I'm concerned she can keep walking and keep talking for all i care." This made everyone laugh. Turns out I wound up busting a few hands later in this tournament with my set of threes being beat out by a set of 10's. It was disappointing but my very first tournament experience.

So bad players will say what they will; I found this out from very early on in my poker career. Best to just let them say what they will; who cares, let them talk themselves out of hte tournament

I once made a terrible bluff and my friend called, I almost mucked but I flipped over my 9 high... He mucked his hand and said I didn't think you had anything and to this day I almost never muck my hands

missjacki said:

OMG this one happened yesterday at a live $340 buy in tourney.

guy has been splashing around in like 70% of pots.

so there is 1 mid position limper, this guy limps along from his button, the SB limps and the BB checks his option.

Flop comes QT4 all clubs. everyone checks the flop
turn is a red J everyone checks the turn
river is a red Ace

so any K makes a straight, and there are lots of likely 1 and 2 pair combinations, not to mention the 3 clubs on the flop.

it checks around to the button who checks behind and flips over 93 of clubs...he flopped the flush and checked every single street in position!

then he says "Too many clubs out there for my comfort" as he happily rakes the small pot. WTF were you playing 93 of clubs for then? were you hoping to flop a boat?

There was a player in the hand who actually had a K for broadway and probably would have called a nice size river bet too....

Click to expand...

Lol People are funny

I encourage players like that, like when some DONK is chasing a long-shot flush draw and miss it completely I always tell them "wow, that was close... good try" and the same for when they are chasing strait draws or when the call on the river and turn over 82o and my QQ takes the pot, im like "Really close dude, nice hand"

The funniest thing I hear from bad players are "This site is rigged" lol (after losing a race/coin flip)

Some of them think the most US friendly "legit skin" is Zynga. lmao.

board : 5-J-J-10-10

my opponent got 9-9 and raise allin

i call A-8

He says : what a scam cmon i got 3 pair's how you won that?! f***ing scamsite!

i told him: First learn poker and next play poker.

He still was angry

6 person 1/2 ring game online. I Have been setting at table for about an hour playing fairly tight bought in with 100 had 143 at start of hand. I got QQ utg folds to button he limps in. I raise to 8 (hoping to just walk about away with the current pot) BB folds and button calls after about 15-30 secs. Flop comes 773. I make it 8 he insta calls. turn is 5 I make it 24 ( hoping to get a read of how strong he is) He takes about a min then calls next card is a 4 making board 77354. I wait a few seconds then check it to him pot now at about 80ish me having 100ish behind He instant pushes after I check about 220ish after considering the hands that beat me and the 8 call pre I feel I can't lay it down so call
He turns over a 65 for runner runner straight, and I kid you not first thing he says is " I can't believe slow playing worked for me that time! It usually cost me when I let players stick around to river."

At that point I'm not sure whether to cry or cuss lol