On controlling a certain urge

Lheticus

Lheticus

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How do you guys control that internal urge to strangle brazen bluffers and particularly stupid/lucky fish through the internet? I get that there can be the whole attitude of it's easier to take stupid people's money, but that can't really work for me because I have a severe perceptual bias of people coming from behind to beat me with hands that really don't have many outs to do so far more than it should happen.

In other words, to me it's NOT easier to take chips/money from stupid players because they seem to get lucky against me in particular. I realize this is perceptual bias, which is why I'm restricting the relevancy of it to my not being able to take that angle to control said urge. I understand that in theory that attitude is true, but I can't get my brain to go on that particular journey. So...what other ideas are there?
 
SerbiaGrinding

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How do you guys control that internal urge to strangle brazen bluffers and particularly stupid/lucky fish through the internet? I get that there can be the whole attitude of it's easier to take stupid people's money, but that can't really work for me because I have a severe perceptual bias of people coming from behind to beat me with hands that really don't have many outs to do so far more than it should happen.

In other words, to me it's NOT easier to take chips/money from stupid players because they seem to get lucky against me in particular. I realize this is perceptual bias, which is why I'm restricting the relevancy of it to my not being able to take that angle to control said urge. I understand that in theory that attitude is true, but I can't get my brain to go on that particular journey. So...what other ideas are there?

Just remember that cards break even. No matter what.

Last night i was in a donkaroll on ACR. There were 45 of us left. Guy goes all in preflop with 65bb left. I snap call with 25bb. My pocket aces vs his QJ off. By the river he hits his 2 pair. Whattya gonna do?! I would've been pretty mad a couple of years ago, nowadays i just brush it off knowing i made the right play. So dont worry about donkeys too much. Part of the game.
 
Kenzie 96

Kenzie 96

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Utterly pointless trying to control things beyond your control, but, it's your time so if you want to waste it, enjoy.
 
BigJamo

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The odds are for you, not against.
Patience my dear grasshopper.
 
teepack

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If you keep getting it in good, you will eventually get rewarded.
 
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freestocks

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I get mad too. But sometimes I am that guy who got lucky bluffing or pushing in bad.
 
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julianocwb10

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I think TBM que agent MAY not heat a Heads processes type Jocks , eels always Vao Exist !
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More not miss the balance of play of the Best Play of Conscious ever!
 
skull89

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I know this can let us very upset.
But, put a thing in your mind, if the play was the correct one don't get so angry, shit happens, and happens a lot.
Focus always on fixing your mistakes and improving your game.
 
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It's frustrating to lose to these people. I'm down $75 today from them so I'm just taking a break till later tonight. The best thing to do is steep away and clear your head. I try to remember these people are the ones who pay my bills so I never ever berate them.
 
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9betterluck9

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If you can't deal with players coming from behind to win, you are playing the wrong game.. Before being successful at anything, one must master his own emotions.. Seems like you cant keep your emotions in check. For the most part, we try to get it in ahead, the bigger the margin the better. But rarely are we getting it in with the %100 stone cold nuts, hence the suckouts. I'll go out on a limb and say your not exactly playing high stakes games (meaning some players are terrible at lower stakes) and the volume of hands we can see online compound the suckouts we see. Maybe try breathing exercises?
 
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vwls

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Meditation

tumblr_nzw03vcMkA1tb2jj0o1_400.jpg

 
Lheticus

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Basically all I'm getting here is "deal with it or GTFO" with maybe only one person adding the GTFO.

Look. I KNOW that I need to deal with it. What I'm asking for help with is HOW. As in like, mental techniques or something. I KNOW that strictly speaking there's no such thing as a person with inherently bad card luck. Consciously, I know it's complete bloody nonsense to think that the villain will hit EVERY time that they shove into me or call off all their chips with nothing but a draw. It's my SUBconscious that I need to get with the program, the bit of me that can't help but get annoyed on such bad streaks.

Hell, maybe I could try hypnotherapy or something if no one here has any better suggestions.
 
PapaC

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Yeah that shit is a bitch. I went through 2 months of the same. But as far as I know I did not get anger and keep playing. During that time I just kept moving down with my BR. I played less and give myself a break. Poker will always be there. But one of the best things I did was to get on here and talk about it. Don't give up. Cards do change.
 
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vwls

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Honestly, I think "meditation" was a good answer. The remedy may be found outside of poker, as in an all-around strengthening of your mentality. Though I have not watched any of these, Gripsed has a playlist on his YouTube channel which contains videos that deal specifically with the "mental game". As I said, I haven't watched any of that particular playlist, but Gripsed is a credible pro, I have watched many of his other videos, and he gives good advice in other subjects. Another resource that may be good is "The Mental Game" podcast, formerly "The Mental Game of Poker". For me, listening to pros discuss their mental processes is invaluable. It helps me to put any struggles that I am having into the context of my humanity, rather than seeing it as something that is somehow unique to my experience. There is also a Mental Game of Poker book. I haven't read it, but, for the same reasons that I am comfortable with recommending the Gripsed videos, I am fine with recommending this book. In the podcast, the author displays a strong understanding of the topic, so I would expect the book to divulge the same useful information.

In general, I think that a strong mental foundation is built outside of poker and then incorporated into the game, at which point it can grow even stronger through the game, itself. With that said, there are many resources that deal specifically with poker mentality. I think that this is the aspect of poker where books most excel at conveying.

Poker will always be there. But one of the best things I did was to get on here and talk about it.

I agree. Poker is one thing, and a positive approach to life creates a positive environment in which positive poker can be cultivated. And yes, it is important to speak to others and to know that your struggles are not unique. Others have been where you have, and they have persevered, which means that you can, as well.
 
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Dorugremon

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How do you guys control that internal urge to strangle brazen bluffers and particularly stupid/lucky fish through the internet?

You don't. That's what separates the fish from the otters. Rec-fish don't care, they're there to gamble and have a good time. If they lose, it's just the price of the entertainment. If they win and have some extra walkin' around money, so much the better. Not enjoying losing is what motivates the otter to keep improving his game.

I get that there can be the whole attitude of it's easier to take stupid people's money, but that can't really work for me because I have a severe perceptual bias of people coming from behind to beat me with hands that really don't have many outs to do so far more than it should happen.
You partially answer your own question. These stupid people came from behind, they didn't have very many outs. Just realize that these are massively -EV plays. Do you think that the casino management gives a damn if someone holds the dice for three hours, and puts the whole Crap pit in the red? Hell no they don't! They know the odds are on their side, and that their +EV will win for them sooner or later. Same deal with Poker plays: if they're +EV then you've already won regardless of where the chips happened to land that one time. Stop being results orientated, and think EV.

Let the fish be results orientated and believe that because he's stacking all your chips that stacking off to draw to two outs was a good play. Let him keep trying that and pray he never runs out of money.

Just remember: if the fish didn't win one every now and then, they wouldn't play. What do you think happened to games like 7-Stud Split? PLO-8? 7-Stud-8? Razz? Why are such games virtually extinct these days? That's because they were massive fish magnets, and broke them very fast. No rec-fish will touch them any more. They keep playing PLO and NLHE because these games give them a fair chance to sometimes beat better players, and for some big wins.

In other words, to me it's NOT easier to take chips/money from stupid players because they seem to get lucky against me in particular. I realize this is perceptual bias, which is why I'm restricting the relevancy of it to my not being able to take that angle to control said urge. I understand that in theory that attitude is true, but I can't get my brain to go on that particular journey. So...what other ideas are there?
You need to work on tilt control. Ain't an easy thing to do, but you can improve by working at it.
 
Lheticus

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You don't. That's what separates the fish from the otters. Rec-fish don't care, they're there to gamble and have a good time. If they lose, it's just the price of the entertainment. If they win and have some extra walkin' around money, so much the better. Not enjoying losing is what motivates the otter to keep improving his game.

You partially answer your own question. These stupid people came from behind, they didn't have very many outs. Just realize that these are massively -EV plays. Do you think that the casino management gives a damn if someone holds the dice for three hours, and puts the whole Crap pit in the red? Hell no they don't! They know the odds are on their side, and that their +EV will win for them sooner or later. Same deal with Poker plays: if they're +EV then you've already won regardless of where the chips happened to land that one time. Stop being results orientated, and think EV.

Let the fish be results orientated and believe that because he's stacking all your chips that stacking off to draw to two outs was a good play. Let him keep trying that and pray he never runs out of money.

Just remember: if the fish didn't win one every now and then, they wouldn't play. What do you think happened to games like 7-Stud Split? PLO-8? 7-Stud-8? Razz? Why are such games virtually extinct these days? That's because they were massive fish magnets, and broke them very fast. No rec-fish will touch them any more. They keep playing PLO and NLHE because these games give them a fair chance to sometimes beat better players, and for some big wins.

The thing is, I consciously know all this. I'm still having trouble not getting upset at it.

You need to work on tilt control. Ain't an easy thing to do, but you can improve by working at it.

"How can I work on tilt control?" is basically the point of my original query. It's all well and good to say "do this" but if the person doesn't know how to work on something properly, shit is not gonna get done.
 
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vwls

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"How can I work on tilt control?"

Did you see my second reply? I don't ask this to vaunt my own comment. I just want to point out, again, that there are resources that can help with exactly what you are seeking help with. You seem to still think that no one has understood your initial question. I would like to point out that I did make an attempt, based on how you have rephrased it, if you hadn't noticed.
 
Lheticus

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Did you see my second reply? I don't ask this to vaunt my own comment. I just want to point out, again, that there are resources that can help with exactly what you are seeking help with. You seem to still think that no one has understood your initial question. I would like to point out that I did make an attempt, based on how you have rephrased it, if you hadn't noticed.

Actually, your post was the most helpful in this entire thread. My last response was to respond specifically to the person I was quoting, I do not believe that no one has understood my initial question and certainly it's obvious that you in particular got the picture. I have a bad habit of failing to acknowledge when someone actually DOES say something helpful in a situation like this, I apologize.
 
PapaC

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You said, "It's all well and good to say "do this" but if the person doesn't know how to work on something properly, shit is not gonna get done."

I'm sure there are some members here that remember how tilted I was when I go active here. My one and only BR was down to $20 at FF. I was so freaking anger and I was carrying around every bad beat I ever had. I remember thinking the same thing you said, and I didn't want to hear that. What these members told me is that I had to deal with me, and control my emotions at the tables or I would continue to lose. I always say this because it's funny to me. These guys put me on a diet of no TILT. But I was the one that had to change by using the advice I got, and it has worked. Very seldom do I tilt anymore, but when I do it's about how I play a hand shitty. It's me and nothing else.
 
bitowl

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You need to just tell yourself that they're the reason poker is beatable. There are always monkeys in tournaments playing every hand and flopping 2pair with Q3o going deep in tournaments. They usually dump their chips in nonsense spots.

It only hurts when you wait and wait and wait then they crack your aces... no cure for that though.
 
makisaa

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Enloy and play your game your way. Follow your strategies!
 
Lheticus

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Gotcha. I mistakenly assumed that you were still speaking in general.

For future reference, pretty much every time that I'm quoting someone I'm speaking directly to them. If I'm not quoting anyone, then I'm speaking generally. :)
 
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