Balance Girlfriend & Poker, Can it be done?

I love playing live poker and have been playing more online than I can remember...and hence my girlfriend has started to get upset...

Last night, I was playing in a tourney on Poker Syndicate, great site btw, and made a good run, and my girlfriend starts yelling at me that all I do is play poker, and she wants more quality time with her on the couch or wherever...we live together.

I've been thinking about playing more though because I've done pretty well and I make more playing online than at my job.

How do you balance out your girlfriend, and poker play if it takes up so much time, especially when the good tourneys are all at night, and she works during the day?

Advice appreciated.

First thing is you need to make a comprimise. There has to be some sort of pre-schelduling of the MTT before hand so that your girlfriend will not be surprised or too upset that you are playing poker. If you have already agreed that on Tuesday, Thursday ,Friday etc. at a certain time during the week you will be occupied by a poker tournament. If she gets angry anyways then you are the one with the upperhand because she is not compromising as you guys would have agreed. Another thing is if you physically show her some winnings or things bought by winnings then she maybe would understand that you are making money like a part-time job rather than purely for the enjoyment. Or maybe buy her something nice.LOL Me persontally, I schedule tourneys during the week where I will be occupied or I schedule activities with my girl so that we have some planned time together and so she will get less angry. Maybe you can get her to enjoy some poker as well. Try to teach her the game and why it is so exciting and maybe she will be the one you are trying to get off the computer or to spend time with you.

First you take your pants back from her and give her back her skirt. Then everything should be back to the way it should be.

On the serious side, I sometimes get some flack from my wife about not spending the quality time with her but a couple factors pretty much negate it. 1: I win money, and this may lead to me spending some of it on her (at least thats what I tell her lol) 2: Its not every night, must make some time for the little woman. 3: I have a laptop so I can watch TV with her while I play. 4: Have managed to get her somewhat interested in poker.

Bottom line, if you are making some good money playing poker, take a couple nights off and take your gf out so she knows you care. Shouldnt have to play every day.

Teach her how to play? Then you can both make money...and you won't get that biatchin!

Maybe you can schedule some time to spend with her. For instance say if the tourneys you like to play most are on Mon. & Wed. maybe make Tues. night a date night with her~ go out to dinner or order pizza and watch a movie or a little TV. Or like someone esle said show her that you won some cash. Or ask her if she wants to learn how to play, maybe let her sit with you one evening and watch you play a tourney. Then when you win $ she will see it and maybe understand why you like to play. I let my girlfriend watch a few times and taught her how to play which was good cause it got her off my back. But I let her play a freeroll from time to time or $1 SnG and I think she is really starting to enjoy it. Next she'll be taking the computer from me for her to play who knows. But she has done well she will win 1st in the SnG's every now and then and she got to the final table in a tourney one evening then she said I had to help her finish she was to nervous. So we played to together and won 1st place prize which was a little over $100 and seeing that she only paid $1 to get in the tourney that was pretty good.
The choice is up to you. But maybe if you ask her to watch you or play with you, she'll feel like you are spending time together and want be on you about playing so much. Or like I already said make a night or two for you guys to spend time together watching a movie, her fav TV show, or go out for dinner. If she sees you giving her some of your time to be together maybe next time you are playing a tourney she will leave you alone.
But that is just my opinion.
Have a Good Evening & Good Luck 2 U!
-gts3475:hello:

Lo-Dog said:

take a couple nights off and take your gf out so she knows you care.

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That's so sweet Logan. lmao
Don't tell Kim you do this for Aly or I will have to follow your lead!!!!

I agree - you need to balance your work, poker and girlfriend. Make sure you know which one is priority (hopefully your g/f is, otherwise you shouldn't be living with her! or you have a gambling problem) and make sure you are spending the appropriate amount of time with her. Also, to gain a bit more time with out the hassle, ensure she has some sort of hobby/interest that doesn't involve you. If she likes yoga, book clubs, kick boxing classes, etc., pay for her membership/fees so that she's not just sitting around watching how much time you are spending playing poker. Ensure she has at least a couple hours of your time each night as well as two nights which she has your full attention. You can set up a couple nights a week where you go to dinner and a movie or something that gets you out of the house and away from the computer so you aren't tempted to play.

this is easy get a girl that like poker too, its that simple..lol but yes a relationship is all about comprimise

Yeah you have to compromise in a relationship. Like I said though maybe if you spend a little time with her once or twice a week and let her choose what you do maybe she won't say that much when you play. Just a thought.
-gts3475

You want your girlfriend to like poker?
Start winning.
Give her some of your winnings.
Not necessarily in cash, but diamonds are nice, (girls like shiny things).
All of a sudden they want you to play even when you don't want to.
It's funny how things go like that.
But women aren't shallow.

But women aren't shallow.

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lolz

I feel ya man.. Try balancing a girlfriend and a 6 month old daughter!.. I swear since my daughter was born I've lost count of how often i've had to play poker with one hand!.. I wouldn't trade it for the world though.. My girlfriend for the most part is pretty understanding although I do get a little out of hand sometimes online.. I just love to play and I believe if I want to get better I have to play.. I played in a tournament this morning on Ultimate Bet and bubbled out in 11th place just missing the final table(1818 players).. I was online for over 4 hours and my girl was great about it.. She tended to my daughter and encouraged me along the way.. Not to say she's always like that though.. She has also stated that I need to get off the computer and spend time with her before.. I agree with what a previous poster said though; sometimes you just have to schedule your poker time when the girl or wifey is away.. You don't want to have to concentrate on if you are getting the correct pot odds to draw to the nut flush when your girl is in the background asking you if she should get Green or Red curtains and why; you know what i'm saying?

This is my first post obviously.. I've been a lurker on this site since I started playing poker about 8 months ago.. Great bunch of guys and girls on here and I so look forward to many interesting conversations along the way.. I like the amount of encouragement others give to each other and also the many different ways to play hands.. Good luck to all in their endeavors in poker!

Is she hot, and I mean smokin'? Cause if she's not, then its a mute point. and if she is really hot, then poker should still be king. Just don't forget to give her my number.

Just kidding.

My wife is a nurse and works night shifts alot, so I dont have a problem finding time.

Ok, how about a woman's perspective?

We girls don't want your money, jewelry, etc. (although that's nice ); what we really want is a little undivided attention and to feel like you enjoy being with us. So, that being said, most of the fellas have given sound advice about dividing you time between poker and your girl. Excellent idea.

I would also suggest you teach her about the game. One night when you're playing, ask her to come and watch you play. Show her the ropes. Once she's got a grasp, ask her what she thinks you should do, etc. Get her involved! Pretty soon, who knows? She may just get interested (it happened to me) and want to play too. Now my hubby and I fight over who gets to play!

Bottom line is, if your girl is bitching that you spend too much time on the computer playing poker or whatever else, what she's really saying is that she's feeling neglected and unimportant. Rectify the situation.

P.S. Welcome to the fold RiverNoHelp :hello:

...That's what I said! ! weee! It's a fairly easy game... :eek2: Teach her how to play...let her beat you a little, and she'll think she can conquer the world! She'll be playing too...!

I like the idea of playing tourneys only on nights you've let her know about in advance -- say Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday are your "poker nights," and spend time with her on other nights.

Getting her involved isn't a bad idea, either, if she's willing. My man is hopelessly disinterested in card games of any kind... I've tried... and I get flak not just for playing poker, but for being on the computer too much in general. So it's not necessarily a gender thing.

Set up a home game with some friends of yours and your girlfriends, get her involved with playing poker - it doesn't have to be for money, just a social thing. Hopefully that'll get her more interested in poker generally.
If you haven't got a laptop already and you're earning decent money from poker, get one, and set things up so that you can be on the couch - I used to play upstairs, and once I had the laptop I got a much better response because I'm on the couch able to talk while my wife is watching TV, and I can look after the little one while playing sometimes, too. Just being on the same couch, able to talk to each other, is often as important as the doing the same thing concept.
Yes, you need to balance poker and time with your partner, but if you can involve your partner in your poker playing, then you can do both at the same time, which is the optimum way of balancing things...

My wife thought I was a loser spending so much time playing poker but it is my way to wind down after work and getting the kids to bed. She has always been a card player so I showed her how to play with play money online. When she showed a consistent upswing on her play bankroll I transfered her some real money on Stars. She had to rebuy but has now cashed $135 and has that much left as her bankroll. I now have to fight with her for playing time. I have to get my old computer up and running so we can both play, just not in the same game or tourny.