Ashamed to Play Poker?

camtheram13

camtheram13

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I think for most of us, poker is a hobby or secondary form of income but do you ever feel ashamed to tell people you play poker?

I think if you live alone, sitting in your pajamas everyday eating Cheetos and spending hours and hours online is easier to deal with. But what if you have a spouse? Kids? Live with family?

I've done speed dating and when the other person asks what I do for fun/hobbies, I feel a little weird saying online poker. I think some people feel poker/gambling is a vice.
 
B

bgarric

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I think some people feel poker/gambling is a vice.

I don't necessarily disagree. But again, it's everything in moderation. I enjoy a good game of poker. I think the game is really fun for a large variety of reasons. If poker becomes an addiction or a compulsion, then I do believe it is a problem.

That being said, I don't think it's that strange to tell people. I think that online poker may carry more of a 'stigma' with it than live poker. I'm not sure what that 'stigma' is for people, but it would definitely carry more connotations with it than if someone played poker with their buddies at their house a couple times a week.

Personally I like live poker better, it's just really hard to get people together regularly.

But I guess to answer your question in a word, "no" i'm not ashamed.
 
camtheram13

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I don't necessarily disagree. But again, it's everything in moderation. I enjoy a good game of poker. I think the game is really fun for a large variety of reasons. If poker becomes an addiction or a compulsion, then I do believe it is a problem.

That being said, I don't think it's that strange to tell people. I think that online poker may carry more of a 'stigma' with it than live poker. I'm not sure what that 'stigma' is for people, but it would definitely carry more connotations with it than if someone played poker with their buddies at their house a couple times a week.

Personally I like live poker better, it's just really hard to get people together regularly.

But I guess to answer your question in a word, "no" i'm not ashamed.

I've dated girls that absolutely hate that I play online poker and I have dated ones that want to learn, too. I guess it is best not to hide it if I am serious about them but no big deal to omit mentioning it if it's only looking like a short-term hook up.

My family on the other hand is very weird about it. They are all about playing the lottery, scratch tickets and tossing money into slot machines in Vegas but me playing online poker is not okay.
 
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KMcoyote3

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Very much the same for me. Playing online poker is considered a waste of time in my family's opinion. Even if I show a profit they still do not think it as okay. Most girls I've dated don't seem to mind too much though.
 
fletchdad

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OK, I have a couple of things to say, one is a derail, but is MO about the dating thing. And it is this:

You are who you are. Tell it up front, (unless you just want to get laid...lol).
I used to smoke a lot of pot - have not for a long time now, but that beside the point - and when I would date a girl I would almost inevitably smoke a big bowl at some point the first date. My reason was, since I smoked every day, I didnt want to fuk around with hiding anything I am what I am and I dont need the stress of sneaking around. I would say the same thing about poker and dating. If you do it for earning purposes, or if it is just a pastime that you love, you will need to be undisturbed at times in a game, and this needs to be clear. No sense in thinking "she'll come around" cause she wont. She is what she is. If shes cool with it, ok, if not - "Next!" When I met my now wife, I smoked the first date. She did not, but she smoked cigarettes, which I did not. She eventally quit, and wanted me to quit smoking - for health reasons - but she did not nag. Cause it was never a question of who I was. In for a penny, in for a pound.

On the other hand, my wife has a BIG problem with people knowing I play poker. She accepts it, although it was a rocky road at first. I spend a lot of time playing, but spend almost as much reading, watching vids, I keep charts of games and I replay them and make notes, its all real time consuming. I am a musician, and can make the time. But I have a family, and I need to balance all the factors in my life. We have a day every week just for us, we try to eat dinner as a family, and I take at least one day a week and dedicate it to my daughter, sometimes more. But I spend a lot of time with poker and music. The music is no problem, but she gets uptight when people find out I play online. I play a live game almost every week, and funnily enough that doesent bother her if people know. My dad thinks I am crazy, but hes a good guy and doesent give me grief. His wife has her oppinion, but she keeps it to herself......lol. My sister wants me to win the wsop so I can buy her a Porsche. (It will be something a bit more environmental, but hey.....lol)

I deal with it like this. People who I like and want to talk to about it, I do. But I dont talk to, say, parents at a PTA evening about online poker. Its bad enough being a musician.

But ashamed???? No way.
 
lektrikguy

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I have no problem telling people I play poker whatsoever. So many people do these days, but that's not why. I do what I do and anyone that has a problem with it can deal with it. I ride a Harley,drink, and chew tobacco. That's me. I've been a rebel for so long and waved my middle finger in the air, I guess it doesn't phase me when someone objects to anything I do. My wife has no problem with it as long as I'm not gambling away the rent money or neglecting her or my son. She sees it as something I do to relax. Lighten up on yourself and quit worrying about what other people think-it takes too much energy.
 
fletchdad

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I have no problem telling people I play poker whatsoever. So many people do these days, but that's not why. I do what I do and anyone that has a problem with it can deal with it. I ride a Harley,drink, and chew tobacco. That's me. I've been a rebel for so long and waved my middle finger in the air, I guess it doesn't phase me when someone objects to anything I do. My wife has no problem with it as long as I'm not gambling away the rent money or neglecting her or my son. She sees it as something I do to relax. Lighten up on yourself and quit worrying about what other people think-it takes too much energy.

Checking the wind direction, or just trying to touch the sky?:D

But, yea, anyone who has a problem with who you are (I am) ...............................................

Fuk em.
 
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onizuka

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Dont be wrong. Poker is different with other cards game. Poker have systematic to learn about. blackjack have it too, but as far as I know only "counting cards" part, nothing else. Try to google, most professional stock trader in US prefer poker as their outside job activity. Why? Because there are lots of similarity between trading in the market and playing poker, for example, looking at graph (chart). My real world job also at stock market, so I can say this. There is no reason you need to be ashamed playing poker. Even people who took seriously playing roulette not feel ashamed.
 
TheNoob

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I think for most of us, poker is a hobby or secondary form of income but do you ever feel ashamed to tell people you play poker?

I think if you live alone, sitting in your pajamas everyday eating Cheetos and spending hours and hours online is easier to deal with. But what if you have a spouse? Kids? Live with family?

I've done speed dating and when the other person asks what I do for fun/hobbies, I feel a little weird saying online poker. I think some people feel poker/gambling is a vice.


Poker a secondary form of income for "most" of us?

I highly doubt that.

Much more accurate to say poker is another expense in the monthly
budget for most of us.

I'd hardly be ashamed if my hours sitting in front of a computer
playing online poker was a significant form of income. However you
choose to pay the bills is ok with me.

Would I be embarrassed to admit I sit for hours and swap dollars in $1 SNG's when I could be doing something productive?

Yep.

It's a stupid waste of time that is borne of the thrill of the gamble. Nothing more.
 
JohnBoyWWFC

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Poker a secondary form of income for "most" of us?

I highly doubt that.

Much more accurate to say poker is another expense in the monthly
budget for most of us.

I'd hardly be ashamed if my hours sitting in front of a computer
playing online poker was a significant form of income. However you
choose to pay the bills is ok with me.

Would I be embarrassed to admit I sit for hours and swap dollars in $1 SNG's when I could be doing something productive?

Yep.

It's a stupid waste of time that is borne of the thrill of the gamble. Nothing more.

Seriously? Why are you still playing then? Much more fun ways to lose your money. Not many better ways to win money.
 
H

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If you feel the need to hide being a poker player... maybe it's not for you.
 
TheNoob

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Seriously? Why are you still playing then? Much more fun ways to lose your money. Not many better ways to win money.


Excellent question. To be honest, it's probably just because I'm lazy.

I have probably played enough to make a reasonable guess that in order to really make money playing poker (that means consistent profit over a very large sample) you have to a) be a very smart player (that includes being a smart gambler), b) play higher stakes, c) play alot of hands and d) have a good size bankroll.

(My guess is that there are relatively very, very few that pull this off)

I don't meet any of that criteria, so for me poker is just going to be
a cheap time killer, and in the end a serious waste of time.

If you are one of those that makes significant money playing online poker, congrats. You are, in my opinion, one of the few that does so relative to the number of people that play.

Again, I think the vast majority of players are, at best, generally swapping dollars at whatever stakes they are playing.

Poker is then simply a pastime. And while there is nothing wrong with that
if that is what you choose to do, to me it just seems like a waste of time.
 
Tom1559

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No problem telling people I play online poker. I balance my poker playing with the needs of my family and as someone before me said "everything in moderation". There are a lot of worse things that you could be doing.
 
DetroitJimmy

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I hide nothing about poker from anyone. I don't hang out with DB's that pass judgment on me. As for any family members that don't like it, screw them too.

The same goes for me smoking pot. If ya don't like, go to another room then.
 
camtheram13

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Excellent question. To be honest, it's probably just because I'm lazy.

I have probably played enough to make a reasonable guess that in order to really make money playing poker (that means consistent profit over a very large sample) you have to a) be a very smart player (that includes being a smart gambler), b) play higher stakes, c) play alot of hands and d) have a good size bankroll.

(My guess is that there are relatively very, very few that pull this off)

I don't meet any of that criteria, so for me poker is just going to be
a cheap time killer, and in the end a serious waste of time.

If you are one of those that makes significant money playing online poker, congrats. You are, in my opinion, one of the few that does so relative to the number of people that play.

Again, I think the vast majority of players are, at best, generally swapping dollars at whatever stakes they are playing.

Poker is then simply a pastime. And while there is nothing wrong with that
if that is what you choose to do, to me it just seems like a waste of time.

I'm gonna hit you with a Phil Hellmuth quote here...

"You are what you think you are. You become what you think you are. What you think becomes reality."
 
dwolfg

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No, in fact I am proud to be a poker player. I am proud to be in, even though a complete amateur and ten miles down the ladder, the same group as the group that helped Annie Duke kick Joan Rivers ass in charity fundraising on the celebrity apprentice. I am proud to be in the same group that are members of the "Bad beat on cancer" club. I am proud to be in the same group as those who participate in countless other charity events.
 
nabmom

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Cam,
I think (but not sure) that I'm the first woman replying (apologies if that isn't the case). Here's my point of view:

Do you enjoy playing poker? Can you honestly say that you control it and it doesn't control you? And you know what this means: Living within your bankroll, not avoiding doing other things so that you can play (like eating, sleeping, showering, going to/looking for work), not getting on tilt so bad that you're angry for 3 days at the world.

If you answer yes to both of these questions, then there is nothing to be ashamed of. I realize the pressure of the speed dating/finding a girlfriend thing, but you want to find a person who accepts you for who you are and supports you doing what you enjoy. Otherwise you have to give up something you enjoy or you have to hide something from someone you're dating. Neither option very good. Don't get me wrong. All relationships are about compromises. So maybe you can't play for 5 hours every night instead of spending time with her. Like Fletch said, you have to make time for the people that are important in your life. But don't ever be ashamed or try to hide the things that make you, you.
 
TheNoob

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I'm gonna hit you with a Phil Hellmuth quote here...

"You are what you think you are. You become what you think you are. What you think becomes reality."


Hmmm.

No offense, but I'm not sure exactly how that quote applies to what I said.

I need a little clarification, if you will?
 
camtheram13

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Cam,
I think (but not sure) that I'm the first woman replying (apologies if that isn't the case). Here's my point of view:

Do you enjoy playing poker? Can you honestly say that you control it and it doesn't control you? And you know what this means: Living within your bankroll, not avoiding doing other things so that you can play (like eating, sleeping, showering, going to/looking for work), not getting on tilt so bad that you're angry for 3 days at the world.

If you answer yes to both of these questions, then there is nothing to be ashamed of. I realize the pressure of the speed dating/finding a girlfriend thing, but you want to find a person who accepts you for who you are and supports you doing what you enjoy. Otherwise you have to give up something you enjoy or you have to hide something from someone you're dating. Neither option very good. Don't get me wrong. All relationships are about compromises. So maybe you can't play for 5 hours every night instead of spending time with her. Like Fletch said, you have to make time for the people that are important in your life. But don't ever be ashamed or try to hide the things that make you, you.

I enjoy playing poker. I don't play everyday and I take breaks when needed. I have a roof over my head, money to eat, money for bills, I smoke cigs (expensive at $10/pack) and drink once-twice a week and drive an Audi. I think I have given the finger to BRM once and awhile but I still sustain my high cost of living. I'm notorious for going on TILT but that's when I know I need a break. I'll replay a bad beat in my head for days. I'm slowly learning how to lose.

I guess I am frustrated with dating. I'm almost 26 and kind of figured by now I would have found that special person. I get stereotyped for not being husband material. I live a little bit on the wild side. I'm just as hesitant to tell a girl I smoke cigarettes.
 
camtheram13

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Excellent question. To be honest, it's probably just because I'm lazy.

I have probably played enough to make a reasonable guess that in order to really make money playing poker (that means consistent profit over a very large sample) you have to a) be a very smart player (that includes being a smart gambler), b) play higher stakes, c) play alot of hands and d) have a good size bankroll.

(My guess is that there are relatively very, very few that pull this off)

I don't meet any of that criteria, so for me poker is just going to be
a cheap time killer, and in the end a serious waste of time.

It seems pretty B&W to me. "You are what you think you are. You become what you think you are. What you think becomes reality."

If you tell yourself you don't meet that criteria you've already lost.

1. You are thinking you don't meet that criteria
2. Because you don't think you will ever meet that criteria, you never will
3. Therefore, that's your reality


Optimistic much?
 
Stick66

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I'm a old punk rocker and still a rebel at heart. Even though I live in one of the most conservative counties in California, I almost wear poker as a badge of honor. I don't mind explaining to people that we don't consider it pure gambling in a broad sense and that poker isn't as easy as most people think.

However, I DO have an excellent dentist who is Mormon. So since I know that cards (let alone gambling) are against his religion, I do avoid the subject around him. Plus my hair stylist has a husband who was addicted to poker (the type who would blow his paycheck with poor BRM and not be able to pay their bills), so I avoid the subject with her also.

But to everyone else, I proudly talk about the subject. :cool: :cool:
 
TheNoob

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It seems pretty B&W to me. "You are what you think you are. You become what you think you are. What you think becomes reality."

If you tell yourself you don't meet that criteria you've already lost.

1. You are thinking you don't meet that criteria
2. Because you don't think you will ever meet that criteria, you never will
3. Therefore, that's your reality


Optimistic much?


Oh. The positive mental attitude thing.

I understand now.
 
jaymfc

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proud poker player :) sorry I'm a smoker :( would be ashamed to tell anyone if I was a serious roulette player lol .
 
camtheram13

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proud poker player :) sorry I'm a smoker :( would be ashamed to tell anyone if I was a serious roulette player lol .

That's funny. I met a dealer at the roulette tables in Vegas once who said he ended up there because he saved up $10k to become a professional craps player. Took him a year to lose it all though.
 
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fx20736

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I think for most of us, poker is a hobby or secondary form of income but do you ever feel ashamed to tell people you play poker?


No.

In fact if someone asked me what is your ultimate goal in life I would say:

Check-raising stupid tourists and taking huge pots off of them. Stacks and towers of checks I can't even see over. Playing all-night, high-limit hold'em at the Taj, where the sand turns to gold."

and if someone asked me what would I do with my money I would point to this:
 

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