OK, I have a couple of things to say, one is a derail, but is MO about the dating thing. And it is this:
You are who you are. Tell it up front, (unless you just want to get laid...lol).
I used to smoke a lot of pot - have not for a long time now, but that beside the point - and when I would date a girl I would almost inevitably smoke a big bowl at some point the first date. My reason was, since I smoked every day, I didnt want to fuk around with hiding anything I am what I am and I dont need the stress of sneaking around. I would say the same thing about poker and dating. If you do it for earning purposes, or if it is just a pastime that you love, you will need to be undisturbed at times in a game, and this needs to be clear. No sense in thinking "she'll come around" cause she wont. She is what she is. If shes cool with it, ok, if not - "Next!" When I met my now wife, I smoked the first date. She did not, but she smoked cigarettes, which I did not. She eventally quit, and wanted me to quit smoking - for health reasons - but she did not nag. Cause it was never a question of who I was. In for a penny, in for a pound.
On the other hand, my wife has a BIG problem with people knowing I play poker. She accepts it, although it was a rocky road at first. I spend a lot of time playing, but spend almost as much reading, watching vids, I keep charts of games and I replay them and make notes, its all real time consuming. I am a musician, and can make the time. But I have a family, and I need to balance all the factors in my life. We have a day every week just for us, we try to eat dinner as a family, and I take at least one day a week and dedicate it to my daughter, sometimes more. But I spend a lot of time with poker and music. The music is no problem, but she gets uptight when people find out I play online. I play a live game almost every week, and funnily enough that doesent bother her if people know. My dad thinks I am crazy, but hes a good guy and doesent give me grief. His wife has her oppinion, but she keeps it to herself......lol. My sister wants me to win the wsop
so I can buy her a Porsche. (It will be something a bit more environmental, but hey.....lol)
I deal with it like this. People who I like and want to talk to about it, I do. But I dont talk to, say, parents at a PTA evening about online poker. Its bad enough being a musician.
But ashamed???? No way.