It's gonna be a guy called Jerry Silverstein, a door to door vacuum cleaner salesman out of Clanton New Jersey.
Jerry has never played poker before in his life, but next week will tune in to ESPN where he will see Greg "Fossil Man Raymer" (who, by the way, has a similar physique to Jerry) take home the $5M.
Jerry will log on to Party Poker
for the first time, the week after next and compete in a $10+1 tournie which will lead him to the WSOP qualifier and then into the big one where he wont believe his luck in constantly sucking out river cards and not suffering any bad beats.
Along the way, we'll bust out Phil Helmuth (who will be nice to him), Big Doyle, Gus, Phil Ivey and Johnny Chan.
Wait a minute, what am I saying,,,,Phil Helmuth is not nice to anybody who busts him.
The rest is pretty accurate though.