Dealing with frustration/emotions in poker?

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MinhANguyen

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What do you guys do when you get frustrated in poker? I mean, I'm happy I got out of my 24BI downswing at 100NL. I shot up like 36BI in less than 3 weeks switching from LAG to TAG, heavily reduced variance, and completely got out of it. My game has definitely improved a lot. But in the past few sessions, constantly running into the top of my opponents' ranges, getting called downed in spots where nobody is ever bluffing and where my range is so nutted, keep getting sucked out on, and losing flips over and over has been getting pretty annoying. It feels like it just eats away at me, especially at the higher stakes where the money really does matter. And especially right after experiencing a long, huge downswing that drove me insane.

Just yesterday, I played a two hour session. The very last minute I was supposed to play (so around the last 2-3 hands), I flop top two, GII OTF vs top pair + flush draw BB vs BTN, and lose the coin flip for my stack. I then lose my very next two and only all-ins preflop AA vs QQ, and KK vs AK. And today, I was only up 1 BI after a pretty long session because I spewed in some bad spots and got some coolers preflop. Then the last 15 minutes of my session, I lose 2BI in like 50 hands. I got sucked out on vs some loose aggro dude who was always playing back at me in a 3-bet pot, in some Zone poker, lose a coin flip (again) AK vs 22, and all that. I've been losing so many coin flips lately it's ridiculous, especially today. It's even more frustrating when you have 99 vs AK against a crazy guy 3-betting every hand, you dodge an A/K OTF & OTT, and then get owned on the river. He was tilting like crazy, and then when I have a hand he's at the top of his range. I think if he flopped an A/K it wouldn't have been as bad, but especially against a crazy dude losing to the A river was just pretty frustrating. Just after tonight, I noticed started to feel like really really hot. Like fever hot, maybe more. I just quit right after two big suckouts. It felt like my body was burning even though I was playing at night, and it was decently cool. I don't have tilting issues like I used to though, so it doesn't really affect my game.

I find the game pretty intriguing and interesting, but I get frustrated at times. I mean, I'm okay losing a BI or 2 when I get outplayed, just being pretty card dead, or just "normal" variance. But it really starts to take a toll when it just doesn't stop, and just keeps going on and on for like 20k+ hands and several long sessions in a row. Especially after recently getting out a huge downswing I didn't really anticipate or think would actually happen, and regaining my confidence back. And it really sucks when it's the last minute or last 10 minutes of your session.

I don't know. I used to be really passionate about poker. But ever since the first few months, it began to feel more and more like a job, especially as of lately. And it's not social at all, and not really any fun. You're behind a computer screen multitabling 2 Zone 2 cash with no interaction. You are constantly using your brain to figure out the best way to deceive people about your range to take their money, constantly ranging your opponent, making some pretty thin calls and value bets, thinking about what you can rep and what he thinks you have while pulling off a bluff, etc. Good decisions are punished constantly, in addition to every bad or suboptimal decision you make. The money feels like a lot to me for my age, and I think this further amplifies the swings/emotions I experience in poker. Is it possible to find poker intriguing, enjoy it somewhat, and yet hate it at the same time? I'm not saying I entirely hate the game. But sometimes it's hard not to hate it. I don't know... Maybe I should take a break again? I've taken a lot of breaks from poker, long and short ones. They do really help. I feel kind of obligated to play though since I just finished my first year at Uni and am on summer vaction :(. My summer is the only time I can actually grind everyday if I wanted to. It's a bad feeling though, because I feel like I'm starting to get more and more negative at times...
 
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TimovieMan

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The grind and its accompanying variance is getting to you. Time for a break, methinks.

When it stops being fun, starts getting frustrating, and starts affecting you, you should quit.
I had a near-7-year break from poker before coming back to it earlier this year. When it stops being fun, the grind starts to become like a job. I quit overnight when this happened to me 7 years ago.
 
mezzodana

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I agree with Timovieman that taking a break might be in your best interest. Seven years, tho, might be too long for you. Even though summer is the only way to play every day for you, maybe take a week off. Completely clear your mind of anything poker - to the best of your ability. Focus on another hobby you love. Meditation is a great way to clear the mind of stress.

If you decide on a break, list out the pros and cons of poker in your life. When you come back to poker a week - or seven years - later, re-write the list. Compare. Does anything change?

When you come back to it, come back with a vengeance. Maybe even drop down in stakes for a while. What's your pre-game routine? Do you meditate? Workout? Do you have a song list to get you pumped up? Do you proactively analyze your game and strive to plug leaks?

Good luck! :cool:
 
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When I get bored of online poker, I play live instead. For some reason, I can sit down at a live poker table for 8-10 hours without getting bored, yet I struggle to play online for longer than 3-4 hours before calling it a night and doing something else. I'm not saying I never get bored playing at a live casino, like if I played 8 hours a day for 7 days a week, I'm sure I'd get bored eventually, but in general, I just find that my endurance is a lot better in live poker, since I don't have to concentrate as hard and click buttons every 2 seconds. I can just play with my chips, glance around at other tables, talk to the person next to me, grab a drink, look up stuff on the internet on my phone, etc.

That's why a lot of professional poker players recommend mixing it up between live and online poker. Live poker is great for fun, variety and socialising, whilst online is great for improving your game and countering variance.
 
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MinhANguyen

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What's your pre-game routine? Do you meditate? Workout? Do you have a song list to get you pumped up? Do you proactively analyze your game and strive to plug leaks?

Good luck! :cool:

I don't have one, haha. I just jump straight in, and make sure I'm hydrated throughout my session. I don't listen to music or anything. I constantly analyze my game while playing, and check the cards at showdown using Bovada's hand history constantly to analyze what my opponents' ranges are.

Thanks!
 
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MinhANguyen

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When I get bored of online poker, I play live instead. For some reason, I can sit down at a live poker table for 8-10 hours without getting bored, yet I struggle to play online for longer than 3-4 hours before calling it a night and doing something else. I'm not saying I never get bored playing at a live casino, like if I played 8 hours a day for 7 days a week, I'm sure I'd get bored eventually, but in general, I just find that my endurance is a lot better in live poker, since I don't have to concentrate as hard and click buttons every 2 seconds. I can just play with my chips, glance around at other tables, talk to the person next to me, grab a drink, look up stuff on the internet on my phone, etc.

That's why a lot of professional poker players recommend mixing it up between live and online poker. Live poker is great for fun, variety and socialising, whilst online is great for improving your game and countering variance.

I would like to play live, but I can't at the moment. I don't have a car. And I'm not comfortable playing 1/3 with a $5k bankroll. I intend on buying a car after I start grinding midstakes/high stakes on Bovada, but that won't be for a while.

I've heard live poker is so much better than online. But aren't you card dead often? Or just keep catching second best a lot? That's been happening to me a lot the past few sessions, and I play around 30x+ more hands than live players do.
 
BogdanStark

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This is what happens when try to beat cash monster pokerstars. I realized that, when began loose all I won at MTTs at the cash tables.
Obviously, my game was extremely accurate,however it cocouldn't save me from crashed AA against QQ, QQ ahainst AK and so on.
I can't say you, why PS beat me every cash hand I have played...
So now I played only MTT and be cool.
My bankroll used for tournaments only.
 
quick

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I hear ya. Just last night (or early this AM) i was playing a few FR tables at Bovada and an MTT or two. I've gotten decent at online MTTs but have been getting crushed on rivers or outkicked so much lately. And then to boot I got into it with some maniac who was building a massive stack all night mostly off rivered suckouts and trash talking. I FINALLY flop a set of 7s and we're both deep stacked and "this IS it" I'm thinking. We get into re-raising battle on flop, get it all in, guy flopped a set of Aces and wins. All he could say was "I bet you wanted to talk shit so bad thinking you beat me." He was trolling me a bit, I reloaded and got some ok spots but overall left down a few BIs for night. I had to laugh and compliment the hand but sometimes it definitely feels like doom switch bad luck that people spaz shoving get lucky then when you think you've got them crushed they beat you on nearly 100-1 odds of pulling a higher set.

My frustrations aside either take a break or if you're comfortable doing so, go play some live poker. As others said I find it much more fun there's so much to take in, it's slow pace, and for me it just melts away online donk rage. I'm finding that live even though im new to it I can find hero folds pretty easy, pick spots well, and generally feel little pressure to make snap calls or worry about losing to suckouts. Probably due to the slower pace and the fact that I can see the action without some clock ticking down in my face.

I may actually consider just using online for MTTs and live for cash. I'm still a loser overall online cash but a general overall winner online MTTs and live cash. But like you I'm torn, online cash can be lucrative and can get you massive amounts of experience day after day.
 
quick

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I would like to play live, but I can't at the moment. I don't have a car. And I'm not comfortable playing 1/3 with a $5k bankroll. I intend on buying a car after I start grinding midstakes/high stakes on Bovada, but that won't be for a while.

I've heard live poker is so much better than online. But aren't you card dead often? Or just keep catching second best a lot? That's been happening to me a lot the past few sessions, and I play around 30x+ more hands than live players do.

Definitely don't try to grind mid/high stakes on Bovada with a small roll. People told me live is softer than online micros, they're 100% correct. Take a BI or two for live, try it out. And in my limited experience so far I was folding for HOURS and still did well. But what's cool about live is you can use that folding time to really watch other players, get the table dynamics, think about moves and spots, etc. It feels harder to fold online than live, I have no idea why but I was comfortable folding and folding some more live and letting go of hands easily. Pre-flop in the 14 hours or so I've played live I folded probably about 85-90% of my hands preflop. I can't find those folds online but I should.
 
mbrenneman0

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Im having similar problems dealing with emotions and frustration and somebody on these forums recommended "The Mental Game of Poker" by Jared Tendler to me, and its just a phenomenal book and I would recommend it to anyone even if they dont play poker. Seriously, check it out!

As far as breaks, Im beginning to think you should have breaks built into your game. I think its probably detrimental to play every single day. maybe limit yourself to 4 or 5 days a week
 
MattRyder

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Sounds like you're a thinking player. You might want to try taking a break from grinding at multiple 'cash' tables, and just play one 'tournament' at a time. You may or may not have any better luck, but you'll probably have a whole lot more fun.
 
Beanfacekilla

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I would tell you the same thing my mentors keep telling me....


One hand at a time.

Things will improve.

Poker is one never ending session.

All we can do is play the hand our best, we can't control the cards, our opponents, or the short term results.


And I was the one who recommended "The Mental Game of Poker" to mbrenneman. Read that shit man. Read it again. And then, if you still are having issues, read it again. That's what I do sometimes.



And I am going through the same thing you are. It is so similar to what I'm going through, I could have wrote it.


Just try and remember the passion you have for the game. This is what led you to this exact moment. Posting on forums, studying HHs, thinking about the game (too much, I'm sure), and if you're like me, daydreaming about the success I (we) will certainly enjoy one day, if we learn the game enough.

Just play the best you can, get through the run bad. It'll be over soon.
 
mezzodana

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I don't have one, haha. I just jump straight in, and make sure I'm hydrated throughout my session. I don't listen to music or anything. I constantly analyze my game while playing, and check the cards at showdown using Bovada's hand history constantly to analyze what my opponents' ranges are.

Thanks!

find a minute before the game to clear your mind. you might be surprised! take a break every now and again - even if it's five minutes to wash your coffee cup! good luck!
 
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When you're running really badly (20 + buy in downswing) it really starts to affect your confidence and your psyche. Sometimes, even booking a 1 or 2 buy in win for the day is a good thing. I know 'stop win' policies are bad (quitting while winning is clearly a bad idea), but sometimes going to bed at night knowing you booked a win can just give you the nudge you need to get over your confidence problems. It's worked for me, at least.
 
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I know I play badly after a few bad beats so I've recently started using a 2 buy in stop loss. It's a small amount, but does stop me spewing stacks all over the place if I'm running badly.
 
ARMYNAC

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anytime you get upset it only makes things worse. Where poker tilt is concerned, prevention is always better than cure. You’ll save yourself a lot of wasted time, squandered money, and unnecessary grief if you can spot the warning signs ahead of time. To do this, you must learn to recognize your triggers – those things in the game that, for whatever reason, are so upsetting and offensive to you that they have the power to put you on tilt.

Tilt triggers generally fall into one of two categories: things that happen within the game itself, and external factors that are technically not part of a poker game, but which make you more vulnerable to tilt.
 
bitowl

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I know I play badly after a few bad beats so I've recently started using a 2 buy in stop loss. It's a small amount, but does stop me spewing stacks all over the place if I'm running badly.

I think I might have to implement this. I learned long ago how to quit when I can feel myself get emotionally frustrated but recently I've found myself making big mistakes when running bad even though mentally I feel fine. I even delude myself for a few hours into thinking I didn't make mistakes and just ran bad, then the next day think about the big hands I lost and realize I fell into some old habits I thought I had gotten over.

If once every 5k hands you spew off 1 BI you didn't have to lose toward the end of a bad session, you lose 2bb/100 from your winrate. In lots of games that's way too big of an edge to lose. If you tilt and spew off an additional 2-3 buyins once every 20k hands when running super bad, you can basically erase your entire winrate. It's actually pretty sick how low the margin for error is.
 
AlyLauren

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Always think that its for fun, yes their might be a money involve but the fact that you did enjoy is enough. Remember its poker and gambling luck won't always follow.
 
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My facial expression can't be explained when I'm frustrated. Also inhaling so bad just to make my self calm. Frustration affects my game play.
 
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When I'm frustrated I can not control their emotions, and yet not a lot, and I stop playing. But I'm working on it.
 
nelo80

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the best thing for me is to stop for a while and breathe, the worst thing is to play frustrated because there after many but decisions and do very badly, I breathe when I happens if you have to get a few hours or days without playing
 
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Try studying more and playing less or changing your game mode or limit. I always find a few sit n gos help me reset
 
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