A bad mindset-Stuck at a limit.
This really is something that has struck me over the last few months, with a solid determination that I am primiarly a nl$100 player playing nl$50 because I have to cash out most of my roll for rl shit.
I go back to nl$50 and crush, but yet I am not happy. I am now fully rolled for nl$100 but a dogged determination not to fully move up has me thinking as to the reasons why. Well its quite simple, the 6ptbb/100 I make playing nl$50 simply is as good as any monetery win rate on nl$100, its simply a better game. Now last night to my suprise, a nl$200 reg shows up on one of my nl$50 tables, it was a donktastic fun table, but in seriousness its something that "used" never enter my mind. OMG, move down TWO levels, even to check the tables on nl$25 is something I simply don't do, ever. I should, I don't, it would hurt my pride.
So tonight I review my database, only a few hours of stuff but I go do it, and find that especially at this time of year, especially on Stars (maybe other sites have December goals dunno tbh) my usual game is filled with some insane grinders. Really and truely not much value to be had unless your coming out on the right side of coolers. The nl$25/50/400 games were really, really soft when I go check, and my usual dogged determination to play nl$100 was totally mis-guided, it was a God-damn nit fest, likely some of the toughest, valueless, souless, bitter game on the full site, and I still play. Any decent table had 8 regs on the wait list (FFS ban table selection software).
Now as to withir I would sit into a soft nl$400 game really is something of a debate in my mind, and something that "could" be considered with a 15 BI roll but not ideal, but pure determination to play "your" game, really hurts your win rate, and dropping down a level to check softer tables should be something that everyone does, but in reality very very few of us ever do.
So I beat nl$50 for 6ptbb/100, I beat nl$100 for 2.5ptbb/100 but yet even when posting this I still want to play nl$100 ? It makes sense to me because of my ego, but putting it in words sometimes helps look at the overall picture.
So do I really want to be able to beat nl$200 for 1ptbb/100 ? YES ! but meh.
Posting one of my biggest leaks makes me feel better, but I gotta think I am not the only one.
(sorry for a truely disjointed ramble)