Sick 3-raises in cash games

I have 2 sick mind-boggling re-raise situations to discuss - both times 1/2 NLHE 9player cash game on ftp

1st situation: bunch of limpers - I have JJ - put in healthy raise 12 - evry1 folds except 1st limper (new girl-avatar on table) - puts in reraise for 20 (xtra 8) - my stomache turns but quick call - flop meaningless 10-7-2 rainbow. 40 bucks in pot - she bets about 10$ - quarter of the pot - me with JJ get this sick feeling that I'm just dragged along for the sick sick ride - I fold. Did i make right decision - yes or no?

2nd situation - I have QQ - standard raise to 7 - get 3raise to 21 - damit - did I land on bigger freaking pair? I call - flop 10-10-7 with 2 spades - I have no spade - bet for 25$. I think & I think - everything points to bigger pair but - I call - turn J of spades - bet 50$ - I'm all-in (she folds - I figure I scared off a big pair with the 3 flush card - however later on she makes similar play with A9 offsuite - go figure)

I guess my question is - how do you figure out when re-raise is a horse-play vs. the time they have you legitimately beat?

1st situation : In my opinion you did wrong. With no prior knowledge on the villain you should see this as a probe bet which in my opinion is two low to have chucked you out of the pot. A call would have told you nothing too so a reraise with an over pair here is really the only option. Maybe 1/2 to 3/4 the current pot. The original call before the flop would have you think they had a AK AQ anything else and i think they would have probabley reraised you. So a high card never hit and unless they re-aise you again here you should be ahead. I would predict a AK AQ hand would fold to you here.

Remember a bet/raise can help you gain valuable information, a call gives you nothing. Find out where you stand now. If betting like this worries you then you might be playing two lower stakes skill and bankroll.

How do you know if re-raising is horse play. Well you don't. All you can do is build notes on people using software or the good old pen and paper and see if you can work out any patterns in there play. Work out what they raise with and by how much and what the showdown cards were etc. You don't play every hand so most of the time when you fold you need to be double guessing other peoples moves and noting what they do.
How often do they 3 bet and how often do they fold to a 4bet etc.

Remember your own playing style is. Do you fold to 3 bets often? remember they keep stats on you too.

Hope this helps.