Please give advice on how to control my anger.

Hello. I want to thanks all cardschat for giving helpful advices. But this time, I need help with how to control something physically. Although this is my personal problem, I cannot manage to help it. When I play in casinos or live home games, even if I face bad beats, I just keep my cool in casinos and if I'm playing with my friends, i keep my cool.

But when I'm online and face a really horrible beat by a river where I was over 90% favorite, I tend to pound my table with my fist very hard from the very millisecond after the suckout card pops up on the river. It seems like I have to pound my fist first in order to control myself and play optimally. It seems like I have to pound something in order to release the anger and get rid of tilt. It's like, pounding is a mandatory before reading and following StormRaven's tilt advices.

My only problem when I play online poker is pounding the table since it's part of my reflexes. Any advices for fixing this? I am asking for this because I crippled my table and have to buy a new one. I'll find a good table from craigslist to buy for a cheap price that's immune to my fist pounding. I've been pounding my table since the day I started online poker.

Yeah this is something I would do as well but my desk is made of glass.

Honestly, IMHO, I think pounding your desk isnt a bad thing. As long as it helps with tilt after a bad beat as youve suggested then I say get a stronger desk.

Bottom lines is that bad beats will never stop. Its part of the game. Rememebr that. The best players in the world get sucked out on all the time. I know its difficult when you put it all on the line and your AA falls to 77 on the river, (my bad beat from yesterday), but you have to remember "Its part of the game!" & Move on.




Also, as far as anger goes. Excercise, Meditation, and relaxation techniques go a LONG way. I know first hand. If the anger starts building to a level that you might not be able to control, try pounding out 50 fast push-ups. Works Wonders.


GL with that.

TY. Moving on from bad beat is what I can do easily. But I do not know why, in order to move on, I need to first, pound my desk for some reason from the millisecond I get rivered. It's part of my bad habit I need to fix. Pounding the desk releases all my anger and gets rid of tilt for some reason. Once I pound my desk, I tell myself "ok, this can happen. gotta move on. don't let it get to ya". I was just thinking if there's an alternative way to get rid of my tilt and move on besides pounding my desk. I guess I can try 50 push ups. I'll give it a try.

put thumbtacks face up all around area of desk you pound. you'll do it once or twice but when u pulling those things out of fist a few times you will learn.

Most people mature with age,hopefully you can realize (bad beats) are just part of the game and get over it before you break your hand.


Snow

LOL
I've broken my hand, from the same thing.




Thanks, this thread should help me out to.

Just keep hitting and punching.You'll became Bruce Lee within few years.

Maybe a desk level punching bag? lol

Maybe that's why PokerStars had stressballs available in their FPP store ...

Wow, you just solved my issue. I should buy a punching bag and put it next to my computer so everytime i get rivered, i can start punching and kicking the punching bag. I can project and image my punching bag as a donkey who rivered me and start abusing it.


Lot of great advices here.

stress ball doesn't do it for me.

thumbtacks are just too painful.

There is a million dollar idea here somewhere

desk not hit back.....sounds like you need some zoloft...or maybe some bong hits of some killer pot

As was mentioned above, it is part of the game. Try not to get yourself in the "Bad Beat situation" but understand it happens. in doubt, fold!!!!

I would recommend stress balls or punching bags.... Or work out, so some push ups to relieve any stress a bad beat might give u but overall you have to realize and accept that bad beats is just part of the game... Learn to accept the beats..

If you are playing cash and you have more than 20 buy-ins for that level.. I don't understand your anger. You did your job and put all the money with the best hand.. What happens is irrelevant... You will be a winner in the long run!

It's another story if it's a tourney ,because you can't reload and you just finish.. I tend to become overly aggressive and can't play for hours if I am eliminated with a 2 outer hit on the river and finish for example at 62nd place out of 6000 in a MTT

Simple, look at it in two ways. 1. you lose your money 2. stay calm and do other things.
Everyone goes through these things, the overall winner is the one who handles it the best. I just lost $60, 3 hour worth of play in 30 min because i tilted...

Look! this is poker bad beats sure to come... if u r playing correctly, then ur winnings will come in long term.. for short term wise, this is poker n it's a fact. u gotta lived with it. if u really feel so tilt n cant control ur anger, go shower urself wit ICed water.. it helps... or drink a cup of iced water. cool off n come back to play again..

A somewhat more practical version of the tacks idea, would be to dish the beating to your legs, and you'll probably condition the response out. It sounds like you might have actually let it become a classically conditioned response. This means you will have to either condition the response out, or allow it to become extinct. The former being accomplished by the tack idea, and more subtly by hitting your leg, also perhaps creating an alternate habit, akin to smokers using hard candys to quit. The latter being waiting until the conditioned response has simply subsided by avoiding exposure to the trigger, so either a break from poker for long enough to let the habit fade away or, preferrably, run like a golden god.

But also the other stuff people have said. Shit happens its part of poker and it can blow. Catharsis was shown to actually be counterproductive in scientific studies, so while it feels nice when we do these things, the long term effects will actually be negative. That being said I think we all have kneejerk reactions sometimes. I have a proclivity for telling people to "die in a ****ing fire" or "chemically castrate yourself for the sake of the gene pool" or some similar such nicety.

^this. but do this before you play. work out and take a shower sit down and play. you will not believe the difference. also try to remove yourself emotionally from the cards and remember why you play(because you enjoy it).

It gets better with time - - after awhile it doesn't phaze you nearly as much.... with the goal being for it to not affect you at all (something I think will take me awhile to perfect.... probably my biggest leak).

Buy a poker table so you can pound the rail while being sent to the rail.

u need to tilt less. punching thing will not solve.

no need to look at poker from a different perspective.Think like a pro.

I found the perfect answer at fulltiltpoker.com.

the first thing is u need to limit number of games u play.
not time,not the amount u win or lose.

after that number u self exclude yourself from playing 12 hours.
by this u look at poker as a professional anger comes with long sessions IMHO.

it works for me.I fell good when i do self exclusion after 20 games.Even i lose or win money , i know that edge in poker is small but that edge can make u rich and that edge can make u poor.

try it and let me know.

Why it works > at 20 games....u also put bad beats to other people so u dont have to punch anything.

Yikes. People are misunderstanding my thread. I pound my desk to get rid of tilt and move on. I know bad beats are part of the game. I play within my bankroll and I move on. I pound it when someone who played their hand VERY horribly got rewarded. Just for a second after bad beat is pulled, I pound my desk hard, and then relax and move on. I'm a veteran to bad beats and I do not let it get to me. My part that I need to fix is being able to relax and move on WITHOUT pounding. I can only relax and move on by pounding since it releases the anger.

i hit my desk also, but just think about the times u sucked out on someone. Really focus on it, think about how happy u were the, feeling u had when it happend. Like on happy gilmore "think happy thoughts".

IMO the desk pounding isnt to bad. My gf see's me do it every now n then she doesnt mind, if its real bad she might say "woah woah" or something but theres people out there worse off. Just get a sturdy desk.


Look up some clips on kids playing video games and losing, they go berserk.

Nah, I think they're nailing it here. The outcome of any particular hand is irrelevant. So you got it all in with AA and some jackazz called you with 23s (hey! Sooted cunnectorz!) and you lost. So what. You're going to play that preflop AA thousands of times. On average, you'll make money on the hand.

You probably understand you shouldn't get angry, you just have to internalize it enough that you really don't get angry. There's no question some idiot is going to suck out on you, just when. Just let it flow on by, one hand amidst thousands, knowing you made the +EV play, and HOPE people keep putting themselves in positions where they have to suck out.

Stop getting angry about things that shouldn't anger you and your question takes care of itself.

RF

Ever thought about CBT? Or a level of Anger management most communities have a level of a meet on Anger management because it's a real common one.

A lot of it how you deal with different feelings... Anger is feeling and if you can over come the feeling you sorted. Or at least know how to deal with it. Can be simple you feel like your getting angry get and up and get a drink or have a walk!

But it's all about how you route your feeling in your brain and how you react to them or let you body react to them!

When I am pissed, I honestly just stand up and walk away and deal with it. Letting it out on others is especially not the way to go! =) It's just poker!

Eat ice cream instead.

Well i was hoping from saying this, but when your bipolar it does not help, thats why i posted the week of bad beats.

I'm doing what i can to control this.

I don't know, mix this with just getting up and walking away, and you have a whole new meaning to "slow rolling".

RF

Tough question. What i do is put on mozart or greatful dead while i play. this almost puts me to sleep because im so calm. Then i play at stakes where if I lost i wouldn't care. This is hard because you don't want to play at such low stakes that you find each hand to be a joke and you dont want to play at stakes that cause you to become violent.

No need to change anything as long as your not hurting anyone and you deal with your rage... maybe over time you'll overcome this

I agree with this ^^ 100%!! It's not about getting mad and getting over it quickly... it's about not becoming emotionally involved period.

YEah Drugs solve all problems And people wonder whats wrong with the world

Drugs do not sort out all problems trust me on that! There normally numb some of it, but never sort them out completely!

get a stress ball or take up a martial art to release that anger