CAN SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO PLAY POKER (AND HOW TO STOP TYPING IN ALL CAPS)

KEEP GETTING TOLD THAT IM A BAD PLAYER BUT I ACTUALLY THINK IM OK...X

Go all in when your cards are sooted. That wins every time.





More seriously - what is your question ? In what kinds of games or situations are you allegedly bad ? Can you be a little more specific ?

urgh obvious troll [boring and done before]

No she isn't, she still plays at Absolute Poker, lol

Lol, I like how the Mod edited the OP title!!!

lol, that would be me then........................
fraid not, this girl's for real.
fraid so, as I do. After FT got shut-down, most of my money left was in Ultimate bet, so I continue to play there, and wait for my withdrawal.



Anyway, Em, I hate to say it, as you're a lovely girl and all that, but you are quite a bad player. Im no pro, Im quite average compared to some people here, but Id like to offer you some serious advice. Take it or leave it, but I hope you'll read it, and maybe take it on board.
1) Your hand selection is quite poor preflop, you play hands like T5, K3, Q2 etc, even after a raise. Junk those hands.
2) Postflop you continue with your hands if you have even the tiniest part of the flop, even after raising from others. If people are being aggressive postflop, they normally have a hand. Not many people bluff at this level
3) You shortstack a lot, and for the minimum, 40c. You might notice I call you a lot, as I dont mind if I lose to you, as 40c wont hit me hard(thats a fault of mine, lol)
4) You play way too many hands, and way too many hands out of position. I have tracked you for 650 hands, and you voluntarily enter the pot at 68% at both 6max and 9 max, thats way too much.
I hope this can help you in some way.

For information, we play 9max and 6max 2nl, so if anyone else has anything to add, please do.

KD

Wasn't me - but I approve!

Maybe the people you play against hadn't heard of (or understood) the phrase don't tap the fish tank..

There are so many "experts" in the microstakes and freerolls, it makes me wonder why they are playing at that level if they are such experts.

Hi Dog...I will start off by saying, when i started playing poker i wasnt really into it...i enjoy playing and dont really understand the way of play..reading what you wrote, i know what you mean and i would like to start playing better...i am a shit poker player but i just enjoy it haha...how have u tracked 650 hands ive played x

Sorry for the caps...didnt think it would be such a problem x

So confused right now. How do you know this girl and what hands she plays? Sorry for the troll accusation but typing in caps, having a totally vague question (which is more of a statement than a question)... and also putting a little x after everything is also a bit..

However, welcome to the forum your on the right path to getting better

x

It was a dig at K DOG, he says im a poor player which i know so thats why i did that...and as for the "x" at the end, im sorry but its just habbit to me haha..And thankyou x

From the Rules & FAQ (http://www.cardschat.com/faq.php) :

• Do not write in CAPS.

said im sorry for the caps im new to this site so never knew but i do nowww. so dont worry i wont be doing it again.

Here's the best piece of poker advice you'll ever get:

Do not play at Absolute Poker

Ignore most of the people in this thread.

According to KD, you play too many hands. Learn first that you can fold at any time. Start slow and fold more than half the time. Successful players will fold around 80-85 percent of the time preflop.

Learn the lingo. Search this forum. We can make you a decent player. We have proof. But like anything in life, you will get out of it what you put in. Well, not quite anything in life, if you only put money into poker, without learning anything about it, you will only get grief out of it.

I think it's okay to use CAPS at the start of sentences tho (if you want to)

have fun on the tables & listen to KDog (< good player!) as I'm sure they could help you out alot (I mean they did steer you here in the first place right?).

Definitely tighten up your game a smidge and something else that has proven successful for my own game is studious implementation of EGM.

Good Luck

I have poker software called HoldemManager which keeps records of other people at your table, as well as your own. You can get it on a free trial at http://www.holdemmanager.com
I met her at a table at UB/Abs and got chatting, then I told her to come here, hands tracked by HEM, as before
I hate saying you're a poor player, as you're a top girl, but your game could be so much better. You're in the right place if you wanna improve your game!
as usual, good advice from dj
thanks for the nice comment PO!
Lol, whats EGM???(Im serious)

bye Em
x

Best thread ever.

^^^This, lol

Eye Glitter Management

+1

Emma, read some of the threads in the link in my signature. Its as good a p[lace to start if you want to improve.
VVVVVVV

I think you're OK too but I would always be looking for improvement just to keep it fun .

played home games my entire life and most of it was like she plays , I remember when I first started seeing people fold a lot of hands , I wondered what their problem was , folding was just not a option unless you had no chance at all to win . yes it was for money but it was for the fun , the camaraderie , I still call to much in limit games but that was before no limit so the money was hardly ever a part of the decision to fold lol . NLOL

a must for the pretty girls like her

I played intermittently for 25+ years live before the internet came along, and one of the things in the early days of Internet Poker that really surprised me was that most of the players in a hand had a mindset that told them they were duty-bound to stay in the hand, regardless of what cards they held. They just would not fold!

I have since learned there are at least 3 'kinds' of players who play high numbers of hands. Noobs of course, also know as fish, and experienced players who know what they are doing, aka sharks. The donkies (by and large) like to think they know what they are doing.

Of those 3 (amongst others) the sharks will have the lower VP$IP (voluntarily puts money in pot) but still will play 30 (ish)% of their hands. Fish and donkies usually are playing 40(ish)+% of their hands.

Emma, think about it. At a 10 seat table, you will be dealt the best hand 10% of the time. So what is it those folks are betting about.

Ah Ha! The answer to that question is the essence of poker and is so multi-faceted that it takes a good long while to understand. We here at CC aim to speed up that learning curve.

I sure hope the early bums posting in this thread didn't totally turn you off.

My first advice is to start reading some books to learn the basics. Read about positions , what hands you can start with from different positions according to what the pppl in front of you played. Simply you first need to learn what hands are good to play and why.

[quote=dj11;1775019]Ignore most of the people in this thread.



Sigh, I see dj has already anticipated my arrival in this thread.
Welcome to the forum.
Appropriate use of Caps is not only allowed but encouraged.

this sites offers alot of great tips and information from other poker players your wises bet is to take that knowledge and try to build a bankroll slowly and like u said if u r new then there's no need to rush and read up on the info first before really taking a chance with ur own money good luck

Hi Emma and welcome to CardsChat, there is so much great advise here at CC so have a look around and learn how to weed out the good advise from the bad.
You have started off on a good note by listening to K Dog and coming here and listening to ppl like dj will get you far. Post some hands that you don't understand why you lost, in the hand analysis section and discuss them with some great poker players.

Good luck at the tables.
Cheers Z.

dont suckout is one step em:
Absolute - $0.01/$0.02 No Limit Hold'em (6 players)
Absolute Hand Converter Tool from CardsChat.com

SB SPANKY_Mx: $0.31
BB BLENDER68x: $0.40
UTG HOCKEY2004x: $1.98
MP JORGE1953x: $0.30
CO XEMMAXJANEX: $0.76
BTN Hero: $2.72

Pre-flop: ($0.03) Hero is BTN and dealt
HOCKEY2004 raises to $0.04, JORGE1953 folds, XEMMAXJANEX raises to $0.06, Hero raises to $0.16, SPANKY_M raises to $0.31 (All-in), 2 folds, XEMMAXJANEX calls $0.25, Hero calls $0.15

Flop: ($0.99) (3 players)
XEMMAXJANEX checks, Hero bets $0.99, XEMMAXJANEX bets $0.45 (All-in), Hero returned $0.54

Turn: ($1.89) (3 players)

River: ($1.89) (3 players)

Final Pot: $1.89

Showdown:
XEMMAXJANEX shows (a set of nines)
Hero shows (a pair of kings)
SPANKY_M shows (a pair of tens)
Outcome: XEMMAXJANEX wins $0.86
Outcome: XEMMAXJANEX wins $0.94

although this was nice:


Absolute - $0.01/$0.02 No Limit Hold'em (6 players)
Absolute Hand Converter Tool from CardsChat.com

SB JORGE1953: $0.38
BB XEMMAXJANEX: $0.65
UTG Hero: $1.72
MP SPANKY_M: $0.34
CO BLENDER68: $0.70
BTN MUSTANG09: $0.75

Pre-flop: ($0.05) Hero is UTG and dealt
Hero calls $0.02, SPANKY_M checks, BLENDER68 raises to $0.08, MUSTANG09 folds, JORGE1953 calls $0.07, XEMMAXJANEX raises to $0.14, Hero calls $0.12, SPANKY_M folds, BLENDER68 calls $0.06, JORGE1953 calls $0.06

Flop: ($0.58) (4 players)
JORGE1953 checks, XEMMAXJANEX bets $0.51 (All-in), Hero calls $0.51, BLENDER68 folds, JORGE1953 bets $0.24 (All-in)

Turn: ($1.84) (3 players)

River: ($1.84) (3 players)

Final Pot: $1.84

Showdown:
JORGE1953 shows (two pair, fives and fours)
XEMMAXJANEX shows (ten-high flush)
Hero shows (king-high flush)
Outcome: Hero wins $0.52
Outcome: Hero wins $1.24

Yeah, K8s is a great hand to play UTG

its a killer hand, as you can see they were all SSers, so I either hit or quit.


K8s all the way!

Damn, I honestly don't know who played that hand worst - you I think...