Witty retorts?

I've seen some really funny comebacks around here lately directed at online trashtalkers.

Irexes': villain "defend your play"...hero "i got your monies....that do?" and Dorkus' "what's that? I can't hear you from behind this big stack of your chips" come to mind as recent gems (paraphrased).

I love reading these. Anyone have any beauts they'd like to share?

Well, my favourite has nothing to do with poker - it's cricket related, but don't worry you don't need to understand cricket to appreciate the comment. I'm afraid I can't remember the names of the players involved, but the comment were:-

Player 1 "Why are you so fat"?
Player 2 "Because every time I make love to your wife (not the actual words!!!) she gives me a buscuit.

Bolt

i like to use the word toidi which is idiot backwards or stoidi u get the hint on that one. also like to introduce myself as vic, vic tory. then for me is the always popular, NH then let them say ty and i immediately reply 4 me to poop on

After taking a his chips:

Villian: You moron. F****** idiot.
Stick: Oh, a child. Isn't it a school night?

I think Rex takes the cake, though I'd like to see stuff from JD.

LOL at this thread! But ya i dunno i love it when someone tries to make a witty comeback and it just bites em in the arse

This isn't really a comeback but its a good way to egg someone on after a nice bet.

You should call me... You're mom(/wife/girlfriend/whatever) calls me all the time.

That's cold, lol

Player 1 = Glenn McGrath (Australia)
Player 2 = Eddo Brandes (Zimbabwe)

classic quote imo.

I win moderate pot against this chappie...

Say_Cheeze: n1 genius
Irexes: kisses
Irexes: xxxxx
Say_Cheeze: huh?
wydadi: all in ?
wydadi:
Say_Cheeze: goood
Say_Cheeze: lord
Say_Cheeze: u are so f in dum
wydadi: gg
Say_Cheeze: limp in
Say_Cheeze: i raise
Say_Cheeze: u no we are the only ones in the hand
Say_Cheeze: then u re reais e me
Say_Cheeze: brillinat
wydadi: yeah
wydadi: u right
Irexes: hey cheeze
wydadi: he done gr8
Irexes: wanna cy8er?

Certain sites have a very high number of abusive boys trash talking girl players. If they are being vulgar and/or hitting on me I have learned to say "I might be a dude" in several languages. If they are blustering on about having balls, I wait until I take a huge pot and say "I don't need balls, I got the NUTS."

There are times when I will sit out and just verbally joust with an abusive player. Although it's just not very fair fighting with unarmed children.

i can only assume you're not aware of the widespread "no 3-betting when heads up" rule Rex?

Thats funny I don't care who you are.....

Most who talk crap have garbage stats so i just sharkscope em. After telliing the rest of the table to check out how funny their stats are i post their stats in the chatbox and follow up with nonstop laughter again and again and aqain.......tilt is innevitable..........funny and rewarding.

Best line of the PokerStars $1 cheaproll:

"joepoissant: took me 4 hours to get that 1$"


ROFLMAO

I'm really not that funny.

ROFLMAO! good one JD, good one.

"can i have your autograph", "wow thats deep", "i'll have to write that one down" all made me laugh

I kind of like this one when somebody tells me how to play the cards...

"You play your cards...
...and I'll play you."

ROFL!!

One of my favourites -

Villain : call - i got you beat!!
Villain : how the hell can u call that
Villain : f* you slow played quads!!!!!!!
Ratmantoo : No - just you

That's beautiful!! I may have to steal this one and incorporate it into my repoirtoire.

im glad CC is ready with comeback so we dont look like folls....o wait we win tournaments...lol we dont need to talk the winning speaks for itself!

well how bout a picture then or maybe some of your hh's

Can't do a pic, promised Nick and all...something about breaking the server. Oh, and HH are bad too...no one should ever laugh that hard, you could hurt or pull something.

Ok this falls under the not a witty retort, but the question begged for some kind of answer, lol. I flopped a full house and they bet into me.....




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