Witty retorts?

DaveE

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I've seen some really funny comebacks around here lately directed at online trashtalkers.

Irexes': villain "defend your play"...hero "i got your monies....that do?" and Dorkus' "what's that? I can't hear you from behind this big stack of your chips" come to mind as recent gems (paraphrased).

I love reading these. Anyone have any beauts they'd like to share?
 
Boltneck

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Well, my favourite has nothing to do with poker - it's cricket related, but don't worry you don't need to understand cricket to appreciate the comment. I'm afraid I can't remember the names of the players involved, but the comment were:-

Player 1 "Why are you so fat"?
Player 2 "Because every time I make love to your wife (not the actual words!!!) she gives me a buscuit.

Bolt
 
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cooterl

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i got some for you

i like to use the word toidi which is idiot backwards or stoidi u get the hint on that one. also like to introduce myself as vic, vic tory. then for me is the always popular, NH then let them say ty and i immediately reply 4 me to poop on
 
Stick66

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After taking a his chips:

Villian: You moron. F****** idiot.
Stick: Oh, a child. Isn't it a school night?
 
Dewmz

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I think Rex takes the cake, though I'd like to see stuff from JD.
 
larkem

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LOL at this thread! But ya i dunno i love it when someone tries to make a witty comeback and it just bites em in the arse
 
DrumDemon

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This isn't really a comeback but its a good way to egg someone on after a nice bet.

You should call me... You're mom(/wife/girlfriend/whatever) calls me all the time.
 
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Shylax

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This isn't really a comeback but its a good way to egg someone on after a nice bet.

You should call me... You're mom(/wife/girlfriend/whatever) calls me all the time.

That's cold, lol
 
Dorkus Malorkus

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Well, my favourite has nothing to do with poker - it's cricket related, but don't worry you don't need to understand cricket to appreciate the comment. I'm afraid I can't remember the names of the players involved, but the comment were:-

Player 1 "Why are you so fat"?
Player 2 "Because every time I make love to your wife (not the actual words!!!) she gives me a buscuit.

Bolt

Player 1 = Glenn McGrath (Australia)
Player 2 = Eddo Brandes (Zimbabwe)

classic quote imo.
 
Irexes

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I win moderate pot against this chappie...

Say_Cheeze: n1 genius
Irexes: kisses
Irexes: xxxxx
Say_Cheeze: huh?
wydadi: all in ?
wydadi: :):)
Say_Cheeze: goood
Say_Cheeze: lord
Say_Cheeze: u are so f in dum
wydadi: gg
Say_Cheeze: limp in
Say_Cheeze: i raise
Say_Cheeze: u no we are the only ones in the hand
Say_Cheeze: then u re reais e me
Say_Cheeze: brillinat
wydadi: yeah
wydadi: u right
Irexes: hey cheeze
wydadi: he done gr8
Irexes: wanna cy8er?
 
slgalt

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Certain sites have a very high number of abusive boys trash talking girl players. If they are being vulgar and/or hitting on me I have learned to say "I might be a dude" in several languages. If they are blustering on about having balls, I wait until I take a huge pot and say "I don't need balls, I got the NUTS."

There are times when I will sit out and just verbally joust with an abusive player. Although it's just not very fair fighting with unarmed children.
 
Dorkus Malorkus

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Say_Cheeze: limp in
Say_Cheeze: i raise
Say_Cheeze: u no we are the only ones in the hand
Say_Cheeze: then u re reais e me
Say_Cheeze: brillinat

i can only assume you're not aware of the widespread "no 3-betting when heads up" rule Rex?
 
belladonna05

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Well, my favourite has nothing to do with poker - it's cricket related, but don't worry you don't need to understand cricket to appreciate the comment. I'm afraid I can't remember the names of the players involved, but the comment were:-

Player 1 "Why are you so fat"?
Player 2 "Because every time I make love to your wife (not the actual words!!!) she gives me a buscuit.

Bolt
Thats funny I don't care who you are.....:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 
mrrigel

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Most who talk crap have garbage stats so i just sharkscope em. After telliing the rest of the table to check out how funny their stats are i post their stats in the chatbox and follow up with nonstop laughter again and again and aqain.......tilt is innevitable..........funny and rewarding.
 
arahel_jazz

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Best line of the PS $1 cheaproll:

"joepoissant: took me 4 hours to get that 1$"


ROFLMAO:D :D :D
 
mrrigel

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"can i have your autograph", "wow thats deep", "i'll have to write that one down" all made me laugh
 
Gobbs

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I kind of like this one when somebody tells me how to play the cards...

"You play your cards...
...and I'll play you."
 
ratmantoo

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ROFL!!

One of my favourites -

Villain : call - i got you beat!!
Villain : how the hell can u call that
Villain : f* you slow played quads!!!!!!!
Ratmantoo : No - just you
 
P

phisig6057

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This isn't really a comeback but its a good way to egg someone on after a nice bet.

You should call me... You're mom(/wife/girlfriend/whatever) calls me all the time.


That's beautiful!! I may have to steal this one and incorporate it into my repoirtoire.
 
KingCurtis

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im glad CC is ready with comeback so we dont look like folls....o wait we win tournaments...lol we dont need to talk the winning speaks for itself!
 
Jack Daniels

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well how bout a picture then :p or maybe some of your hh's :p
Can't do a pic, promised Nick and all...something about breaking the server. Oh, and HH are bad too...no one should ever laugh that hard, you could hurt or pull something. :D
 
belladonna05

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Ok this falls under the not a witty retort, but the question begged for some kind of answer, lol. I flopped a full house and they bet into me.....




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