Things said at the poker table that should be banned:

These ones come from my home game just wondering if you have any things that people say that you hate???

I called because they were suited,

I called because I had money in the pot,

I called because it’s my favourite hand,

Hold up just one time,

I know I’m behind but I call.

The Muppetteer

I called because I WAS COMMITED ....
I called because I had outs....
I called because I like Gambling.....

Personally, I'd ban just two things:

1. Singing The Gambler at the table. Especially if the only words you know are "You've gotta know when to hold 'em". And especially especially if you can't sing.

2. Saying "What's the minimum bet".

/dealertilt

1. Well i didn`t put you on that. (obviously)
2. i`m sorry, is it my turn? (pay attention!)
3. I knew you had it. (then why`d you call silly!)
4. Any chat between Asian guys in between hands in a foreign language. I always hear this in AC. WTF are they talking about? ( Look at this donkey in the 3 seat. I`ll be spending his cash tonight! ha ha ha)

My home game..."John! It's your turn!!!" John responds "Huh?" Guys that see him during the week swear that he's coherent at other times. Then, come Friday night, he's like a zombie! It wouldn't be so bad if he also wasn't the luckiest human being on the planet.

'ALL IN, ALL IN !' or 'COME ONE' or other incitations like that !
Or even those that are discussing of the hands of other players at the table (mostly when I'm one of the other players that go on playing the hand) ...
Another one - just for online games : "Would you let me see your cards if I fold now ? I'm sure you do a bluff !" (Why don't you follow me in that case ? ).
Last I've seen : "With so many chips in his bankroll on this tourneys, this guy can't be a donk !" => That after only 4/5 turns and the discussed guy has 6000 for a start stack of 1500 =====> Why can't he be a donk ?!
Or the contrary "Oh, this guys has only 500 remaining chips, so he his a donk that was beat by a good player !" => Illogic deduction based on a short experience

Others ? I'm sure yes, but I've not anymore in mind currently

What a funny subject ! Excellent idea : "muppetteer"
Cheeers,
Stef

How much is the bet?How many people in the hand? and evenHow much you got left? after every hand they play in drive me nuts on top of all the ones that have been mentioned above.Not paying attention really aggravates me. I have a small tolerance for stupidity. LOL

"I'm gonna call — because I'm drunk." --This actually happened to me at a charity card room. Needless to say, I lost the hand. Good thing I was freerolling.

This may surprise some people, but I would also ban people from saying "Nice hand" when they clearly don't mean it. I understand etiquette and all that, but I would rather people not say anything than force themselves to call someone's big suck-out a "nice hand." Say something like "That's poker" or "it happens" instead.

You mean like when you raise your pocket A's from the button and some moron calls you from middle position with 35o and pulls a str8. And then some idiot always has to say "Nice Hand". I do hate that!

I often say this to morons to get them to believe they played right. Afterall, I want them to keep calling everytime I have a monster.

They are our bread and butter, not ?

YES!!! Gawd bless the internet. There are dozens, possibly hundreds of people alive today because I couldn't get my hands on them. First the donk that pulled the move and then the idiot who says "nice hand". Especially back in my younger days when I would respond with the "Are you nuts?!?!? That was the worst play in history of poker because..........." and they don't have a clue what you're talking about. I stopped doing the response thing quite some time ago. Waste of time and raises my blood pressure.

"I think I'm pregnant and it's yours."
(sorry couldn't resist)

"Honey, I'm pregnant and it's NOT yours."

Why would you want to discourage any of these things? Basically they all boil down to the same meaning; "I'm a bad player and over the long run you'll win all my money."

BTW my absolute favorite thing to hear is "I played [whatever trash I just beat you with] because 3s / 6s / hearts / whatever are HOT tonight". The proper response to this stupidity is of course, "Yeah, I've noticed that too."

the only one i hate is " Please hold up one time" How many times have we had it hold up?????? If u been playing poker long enough its held plenty of timess..... Gimme a break

My number 1 at the FISH-EXPLANATIONS-LIST is:

Off course it was the right decision to call allin with bottompair on the flop since I caught trips on the river against your toppair

"I KNEW IT WAS COMING!!"

please give me a break.....

Im plain sick of hearing the word donkey used as poker terminology. Everyone seems to use the term which makes it meaningless. I guess everyone who plays poker is a donkey. Used to only hear it online, but the term is now used in all the live games i play as well.

I don't worry about what other's say. Most of the time it is to justify their actions....or confuse yours. Stick to your game and ignore others input.....especially if it is upsetting. Remember: a clear mind wins.

Definitely should be banned:

"Fold already!"

from a player NOT in the hand, as another player kept calling my bets with what was clearly a losing hand.

My mom: "I just called to keep you honest" with J2o on a AKK board that I raised all in.

(I don't like the idea of my mum being that bad at playing poker - but she is)

"You called the bet with 10 6? YOU ARE AN IDIOT?"
"She called the bet with KING QUEEN? God what an idiot!"
- the Brat

WOW, is four A's a good hand?

Sorry I farted!

and another famous one... "I'm shoving all in because I have to leave the tournament"

Ya, 'nice hand' coming from some muppet not in the hand, when you get sucked out on, with runner runner. Suckouts are not nice hands.

Yes, you're right ...
When the result is not "logic" with the cards of 2 opponents and then someone says NH ! I think it's ridiculous ...

I seen someone with 2 clouds
Flop : 1 cloud between A/J/10=> All in
Followed by someone else that has QK

Turn : One cloud
River : One cloud

And then everyone say : NH !!
It is not a nice hand, and hearing that (mostly if I'm the one with straight) make me feel nervous/hangry !

You're right, I've forgotten that in terms I would like not to hear (or read) on a tourney

Cheers
Stef

I hate when they ask what you have.
I had money in the pot, you didnt. Ill show sometimes, but not when asked.

Yes, but I can understand the questions ...
Sometimes, some people ask you that without waiting really you do so ...

NH & LOL both piss me off

"Who cares,it's only a freeroll." or "Who cares,it's only $x (1,2,3 or5)."

It's like poker doesn't matter unless you have big money in it.Some people forget that not all of us are in this to get rich or to quit our jobs.Some of us are playing because of the game and enjoy poker.

If we wanted to crapshoot a few dollars away, I think the lottery pays better on a couple dollar tickets.

I LOVE hearign those phrases, mostley because they are said to justify a bad call as I am stacking thier chips. I just smile at them and say "Oh I understand, I might have done the same thing if it were me". I try to never discourage bad play at the tables, Thats what this forum is for.

I call because it's the right call, I won didn't I yuk yuk yuk

Actually, they are saying "Boy, this guy is cleaning us out... but at least this game doesn't hurt my head like the one with the little tiles, and everyone huddled around and screaming in languages we understand"

rut rho.... guilty as charged.... what I mean by it is this: "Nice call. The next time I have a big hand and flop a killer, I really, really hope you made an equally poor play... those chips you took from the good player will help me send him to the rail once I take them from you.... so just remeber: 72 sooooooooooooooooooted rocks! You keep right on calling with it no matter how much I bet PF, ok?"


All you'd get back was: "Shhhh... please don't tap the tank"

Didnt you guys read the post on poker lingo???

Nice Hand = I hope you choke on my damn chips