Post MTT Vent

You are smooth sailing in a super satellite. The winner of the beast has an all expense paid trip with buy in to the WSOP ME.

You are raking pots like cookie monster working the stock at Mrs. Field's in a shopping mall.

You keep eating the chips but still you feel hungry. Your stack just for some reason doesn't grow. It just hit a plateau and stayed there.

You are playing smart, solid poker, controlling your table, but for some reason no matter how much you eat you still are hungry. Then it all becomes apparent.

"THE TAPEWORM"

Who the F is the tapeworm ? He's that creepy little bastich in the corner that keeps hitting that ^%$#@&*^ gut shot straight. He just won't freakin fold. You just raked 4 decent pots and collected 14 bbs. You got it all under control. You look down and see the AA on the button with a raise and a reraise in front of you. This is one of those times where you don't want to smile and give it away, but under the table you could swear "IT" moved a little bit (and for the ladies well we won't go there). You look back at your hand, lay it down, center a nice $1k chip on it. Move one big stack of black to the right and one to the left pushem toether in front with a small stack of those gold chips that carry all the weight in a nice pyramid.

With the confidence of the Ron Jeremy on a nude beach you slide those big boys in and even though Superman couldn't see through the darkness of your shaded oakleys, the vibe is out " Come and get some you rag playing poohbutt donkey beeeeeyatch".......The first chicken realizes theres a a chefs hat on your head and bails........the other chicken for some reason just looks at you stupid with that "maybe I do wanna be a french fry" look pushes aside the carrots and celery and eases into the pot like it's taking a sauna.

This somovab!tch did this before didn't he? You say to yourself recalling that burning sensation in your seat from the last time he called your raise. Well not this time you pot rapist you say to yourself, when that flop hits this punk is catchin a hook in his fronts. There it is the old mystical, magical, fantabulistic A-10-5 rainbow floppy-poo. You know this rectal wart is going to play his hand. You charged him a mint to see the flop. You have him out-chipped and you aren't about to throw a set of bullets away because the guy that put the D in douche ran you down before. IT's GO TIME!!!

You stack em up take the shades off so this half a sissy gelatinous glob of cardrack goo can see it's time to just wait for the next one. He leans back smirks and says "duh! okay George uuhhh! I'll gamble wit yas aheyulkheyulkheyulk aheyoooo" turns over his KJos looks at your 3 Majestic aces and says "duh! heyulk uuhhh! yepper that's what I thought you had heyulk heyulk" " nice hand there George duhh heyulk" the turn comes 3 and then theres that *&^%#$@@$%^&&$#@#%%#%# river

That wallet thieving river Q puts a dent in your stack so bad an insurance adjuster or in this case the dealer starts raking the chips and pushing them away as if you put them in to pay a deductable

Damn fine storytelling there Chipslap. Sorry you took the bad beat but you painted a great picture of it. You say it put a huge hit in your stack, were you able to recover at all or did you just throw the towel in?

Rep for this line alone...
very nicely written, and too bad for the beat

I know it's childish and some of my humor is in poor taste. I was able to recover a little bit but only one seat was available in this tourny and the hit coupled with that ever increasing BB was a little too much to overcome as I caught my cold deck late. As you knwo a cold deck and a short stack makes Jack a dull boy.

Oh and if any of that is offensive I apologize now.......that's just how I complain.....I make a few tacky classless jokes add the event.....take a shot chase it with a carbonated beverage and go on to the next adventure.....

Why you picking on me? Just kidding.


And forget about offensive, that story was damn funny. Sure beats the old standard "this jerk called my AA with xx and sucked out y on the river to beat me" one line story.

Very nice.

A few good things did happen today.........I didn't win any tourny I played and managed only $10 profit at the ring games, but I didn't step in a dog poo, managed to avoid being hit by a bus, and found a quarter next to a vending machine (too bad the soft drink costs .60)

Sometimes it is the little things that get us through the day.

great storytelling

Think I should up my medication?

Nice story, but this is supposed to go in the Bad Beat Section>>>buck

I'm still relatively new if my post count didn't give me away......I'll make a consious effort to try and put these where they go....