Poker jokes

A 12 year old boy comes home from school and walks into his parents' room. Mom and dad are in bed making love. The boy asks, "What are you doing?" His dad replies, "Playing poker. Now get out of here." He goes to his older sister's room to find his sister and her boyfriend in bed making love. The boy asks, "What are you doing?" His sister replies, "Playing poker. Now get out of here." He goes to his older brother's room and finds his brother masturbating. He asks his brother, "What are you doing?" His brother replies, "Playing poker." The boy asks, "I thought that it takes two to play poker." His brother replies, "Not if you have a good hand."

Feel free to post your own.

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton
die on the same day and they both
go before an Angel to find out
if they'll be admitted to Heaven.

Unfortunately,

there's only one space left that day,

so the Angel must decide which of them
gets in.

The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she
should go to Heaven.

Dolly takes off her top and says,

"Look at these,

they're the most
perfect breasts

God ever created,

and I'm sure it will please God to
be able to see them every day,

for eternity."




The Angel thanks Dolly,

and asks

Her Majesty the same question.

The
Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse,

shakes it up, and gargles.

Then, she spits into a toilet and pulls the lever.



The Angel
says, "OK, your Majesty, you may go in."

Dolly is outraged and asks,

"What was that all about?

I show you two
of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down.

She spits into a
commode and she gets in!

Would you explain that to me?"

"Sorry, Dolly," says the Angel,

"but even in Heaven,

a royal flush

beats a pair -

Beez walked into her living room and saw her husband Wizz playing Poker with a dog. "Amazing!" she sputtered. "This must be the smartest dog in the history of the world!" "He's not so smart," Wizz mumbled. "I've beaten him three out of five games so far."

Cute! haha

What does my bankroll and IQ have in common?

The longer I sit at a table, the smaller they get.