More news on Poker!!!

Hi friends,
I found a few poker definitions in an article which I would like to share with you all.
Poker Definitions –
Dealer: The Dealer is one who shuffles the cards and deals the cards to players. A dealer in online casinos is indicated with a dealer button.
Pocket card: A Pocket Card is one of the first two cards that were dealt by the dealer.
Community card: a card that is on the table and available for all players.
Small blind: The amount of chips that player to the left of the dealer has to bet, depending on stakes.
Big blind: The amount of chips that second player to the left of the dealer has to bet, depending on stakes.
Flop: The first three cards that are dealt on the table.
Turn card: This is the fourth card of the table. It is also called Fourth River
River card: This is the last and fifth card on the table.
Hand: ‘Hand’ are the five cards that the players collect from the pocket cards and the community cards.
Dealer button: This is a red button that indicates the dealer.
Showdown: This is a term for the end of the final betting round when all the active players turn their cards face up to see who has won the pot.
There are numerous other types of poker with slight differences as compared to the general poker rules, but the basic gameplay style is the same and it will just take a few hands even for a newbie to get along with the different types of pokers available in the UK online casinos.
Thank you.

....? You serious? lol.....

Sucker: The guy who posts definitions to basic poker terminology on a poker message board

Come on, guys. Give the newbies a break. This could be news to more folks here than you think. We were all noobs once. Plus I've seen much worse things posted on CC. Did you see the spam attack this morning? Thank goodness for mods.

Anyway, let's try not to turn this forum into Pocket5's or FTR, OK? As Patrick Swayze once said, "Be nice until it's time to not be nice."

Gotta go with the Stick on this one. While it may seem mundane to some of us, I'm sure there are some people who are completely new to the game who may decide to come here to learn what this crazy poker is all about. Let's not alienate someone just because they may not be on the same level as you.

Thanks matrix. Sticky this Q?

POKER: What the boys do in the back room. EX: We have lickher in the front and pokher in the rear.

peace

When i first joined i was desparate to make posts so i could get to the magic number of 15. I wasn't clever enough to think of posting a poker dictionary. LOL.

Other poker terms:

F'king Donk - someone who calls your every bet to the river when you have aces and shows K2o on a K4927 board.

LAGtard - some crazy mother who raises with K2o, Cbets the flop, double barrels the turn and pushes the river.

Spewmonkey - someone who has AKo and calls an all in on the river on a 4567Q - 4 to flush board.

Suckout - I'll let one of the female members explain that terminology

First of all, nice post Matrix, it will certainly be useful to some.

Dealer: The jerk that hands out the junk I play.
Pocket Card: the junk cards I get EVERY HAND i.e. 7-2 os
Community Card: The cards that help everyone else at the table more than me
Small Blind: My regularly occurring donation to the table while sitting next to the jerk (see Dealer)
Big Blind: An even more expensive contribution to the community
Flop: The moisture that exudes from my pits when ever I call a bet
Turn Card: A Jack! My luck is turning! Woo Hoo
River Card: The card that ultimately allows the other guy to beat you and steal your bet.
Hand: Any set of 5 random cards that must not match each other in any way shape or form (impossible in a 4 suit deck? u haven't seen my hands)
Dealer Button: A marker that immediately precedes my sacrifice to the table
ShowDown: A very rare occurrence that makes a Hand appear to have some chance to beat another hand and allow me to win some chips.... hahahahahahah

No offense to Dealers, Cards or Hands intended.

^^^ lol'd this one...

But seriously, Flop is what my stomach does when the first three blank cards hit the felt when I manage to catch AA and I know the jerk just out drew me with 84 off suit.

I have to disagree. This is not a nice post. The title doesn't fit and the information is plagiarized. In fact, half (2/4) of Matrix's posts are plagiarized. The other two are fluff.

Look at another post. I'm guessing the account is a bot.

I hope USA laws get changed always looking for info on that. best of luck

sounds like my kind of terminoligy panama

SPEWMONKEY WOOT WOOT gotta love em. That's how we make our Money Money. =P

Between the generic definitions and the helpful information on fractions this is a very valuable post.

Very interesting, I am a bit naive (OK, a lot naive) and didn't even notice the odd title. Poker News ?!?! weird. What does someone get out of this kind of pretending, a weird sort of jollies that people don't know he's a troll/bot?

It was fun to try to make up some definitions though.

PJ

Thats what I thought as well...