I need a pep talk

So I'm now the cliche tilt boy.

I started my journey to be a solid winning player following bank roll management in July and have since increased my initial $20 to as much as $220. However I've been under a really bad swing over the past two weeks at .05/.10 and after dropping nearly $50 i proceeded to tilt myself down to $110. I have successfully killed monthes of grinding in a matter of days and it is making me sick.

I like to think I'm a good player. When I play my game and think I can crush the microstakes and have long looked forward to moving up. Now I can't even think straight when I play. Just knowing that I only have $110 now is killing me because I worked so hard to get over $200.

I don't want to quit playing, but I don't know how I can control myself. I had the pacience of a saint when i played .01/.02 and I continued it into .02/.05, but I suppose I mentally wasn't ready for swings of more then $5 in a night.

I guess I need to go back down to .02/.05 now and work my way back up to $110, but I don't know if I have that grind in me again. Maybe I don't have what it takes to be a cash player, but the constant suckouts in tournaments and SNGs drives me insane too. I want to seperate my emotions from the game, but I can't seem to do it. As much as I tell myself "its just poker, play your game" it doesn't help.

I suppose its also a problem that college is getting hard and for the first time I'm actually having to work. Life just sucks right now and I know I shouldn't play when I'm like this, but I really don't want to quit.

meh one of these days

You're gonna have to try and forget about how much money you had and have now and just play as if it's you're last dollar. Also try taking a day or two off from playing any poker what so ever and think about your play.

I hear where you're coming from and I've been there myself. Wanting to have a huge bankroll to move up in stakes and beat the game. It took me a long time to figure out this is a long term game.

You can't run until you learn to crawl and walk. I think you are starting to stand on your own but you're still a little bit away from walking.

Take a step back when you stumble. Take a break, don't play when you are not in a position to play your best. And don't ever be afraid to move back down in stakes.

Make a rule for yourself. If you lose two buy-ins, move down a stake. If you lose two more at the new level quit playing for the day. But go and review your hand histories, see what you did wrong and see what you did right. Post some of the wrong ones on here for help.

Good Luck on the felt.

Thanks, I'm definitely going to move down. I'm just sick of building up bankrolls and then dropping back down. I feel like this isn't even worth it sometimes, I mean I only win a few dollars here and there.

Everyone has their ups & downs...you are very definitely 'on tilt'. Read the 1000th post thread by Stormraven...it is all about 'tilt'. I went through a phase of hating to play poker until one day I finally started getting better. I wish I could tell you that there's a better day for you tomorrow, but I don't know that for sure...but a better day will come.
Perhaps starting at the micro stakes is what you really do need to do for awhile in order to preserve the bankroll that you have left. Just try not to think of it as starting over...you still have half of what you made before.
You mentioned college & having to get a real job...that does happen. Stress plays a big part on how we see things that happen to us. What are you studying & what are you thinking of doing as a real job? GL with all of this stress. Step away from all of it for awhile to see things in better perspective. Do you have a friend or relative that you can talk about these things with? Or someone here at CC? If you hold all of those emotions inside, eventualy they will erupt and cause worse problems.
Do what you really love to do...college...work...poker...and talk to someone...a buddy...anyone who will listen. If it all becomes too hard to control alone, then seek professional help.
Good Luck with whatever you decide to do. Please let us know what we can do to help. MM

im in the same boat u are seems man. im a college student whos only been playing online poker for a little over a year.

I started with a 50 dollar deposit..ran it up to 200 bucks in under 2 days...and than went busto within the next week because i couldn follow proper BRM (at the time i didn even know what BRM was)

then this last summer i deposited 200 bucks...ran it up to just under 500 in a week...and than guess what..when my AA lost to KK on the river for 50 bucks....i went on mega tilt...ended up going busto later that night...i still haven forgiven myself. i felt like shit and i still do. i cant believe i blew all that money in such a short amount of time all because i couldn stick with BRM.

But now im more of a MTT/ SnG guy...and winning is doesn happen very often ...but when it does nothing feels better. im going to make one more deposit here before the end of the year..and im not going to play cash games..strictly MTT/SnG buying in with no more than 2% of my BR at any time. I know i will be able to follow this because i know what its like to go busto..and i know i willl do anything not to let it happen again.

You stilll have a healthy BR man, try to remember that. it is hard to balance college with other shit, but if u gotta take a little break from poker to study than you should do it. Than after an exam play some tournament and what not just for fun.

Hope this helps you man, i know how it feels

Thanks, I'm studying Economics, i guess. I'm not particularly interested in anything which makes this whole deal sorta dull. I don't really want to do anything in particular, probably just do whatever pays the most.

I know I've done this before and I swore last time would be the last, but it never is. I can win at the microstakes, i guess I'll just have to see how it goes.

Maybe what I really need is a break...can i get a link to that post on tilt?

here ya go man,
http://www.cardschat.com/f11/tips-dealing-tilt-162461/

I started with $50 got down to about $18 then went on a terror. I won 8 of 10 sit n gos($1 and $2) and hit 2nd and 3rd in $2 tournaments with 700 guys, giving me $120 and $180. I slid back to $180 now, but it's just how it goes. I know I'll get back up there, just gotta shrug off the bad beats and play your game the way you have been. There's no magic potion to get it back-suck it up and get back on the tables.

Take a nice break from poker.

When it happenes to me,i normaly take about a week off playing.After that time i am quite excited to ge back on he tables and am realy missing playing.So i suggest take time off untill u get the urge to play again and u get your confidence back.

I hope this helps,it works for me.

Good luck

Lazmansa

Just to update you all, I've slid back into 3.40 18 man turbo SNGs on Stars and am playing great. I've already gotten back up to $150 from $110 and have yet to tilt even though most of the time when I get knocked out it is due to a bad beat. Hopefully this continues and I'm back to my peak and beyond in no time. I thank you all for your support, this is a truly great community.

great to hear that Wall.

hope u get back up there, dont tilt and best of luck man

That's great that your luck has improved...best luck with you when you play! Please do read the articles on 'tilt' here in CC forums though...you can pretty much bet that it will happen again, but hopefully you'll be able to cope with it before you're completely discouraged!

Thats great to hear. Keep up the good work.