HELP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi everyone,
Any of you who read my blog (see seperate thread) will know I'm crap at a lot of things - poker, cooking, decorating, cats; but I desperately need your help on another crap activity - computers. I'm trying to sort out a new site for my blog and already have the URL address and a host server but no matter what I do to try and download templates for the pages I seem to balls it up. Creating a new site from scratch is also a non starter as I've no idea what I'm doing.
If anyone can help me sort out pages, sites, suicide ideas, whatever, I'd be eternally grateful. I can offer a cat, mother-in-law or wife as part exchange for payment.
Thanks everyone
Snowman
XXX