Funny things foreigners/newbies do and say at the table

"I call you and raise..."
"Arrrin" (I'm asian and I when I play w/ my not so good speaking chinese friends they say it like that, it's hilarious)

Also newbies bet so small/big according to the pot a lot.. say it's 3 to the flop pot is 6, someone would bet 1, on turn they'll bet another 1.. and so on. The way they bet like that gives me the right odds to call most draws.

They'll fold out of turn and also when they could have checked it anyways.. I mean what's the point of that?

"I call you and raise..." love it

My favourite is "starting hands are all equal until you see the flop".

My fav is:
UUUUUUUUU AMERICAN SUN OF BITCH I RAPE YOUR MOMMMA

(actually happened)

But it was Sooooooted.

OMG, how do I forget that one? Some guy called my big raise with 10-4 of spades preflop and caught a 4 flush on the flop.. so it was all undercards to my Kings so I pushed and that's what he flipped..then you know what happened.

His excuse was.. "but it was sooooted"

This unknown guy rocks up, from some Mediterranean country anyways... local 10p/20p cash game last week. First hand he shows up with Queens, chatting away 'oh high guys I dunno what I'm doing yada yada' hits a set on the flop manages to get some douche to go all in with a marginal hand. A few fools fall for his talk and he grinds a few more £££ out of some people at the table.

Towards the end of the session comes a 3 way flop raised pre which I am a part of, he is in the small blind bets out, flop is Q76 all clubs, he bets out from the small blind, I raise big with a set of 7s, guy to my left shoves (original raiser pre.). He stalls, folds, I call. Original raiser shows nut flush, I show 7s obv. The guy to my right that I'm on about whose hand hand't hit the muck when he folded it eagerly flips over the lower flush, and I'm like . He ended up about ~£80 by the end of the night I think.

Thats my fav too.

Just lately there seems to be a fair few players who critique every hand they are in.

I love the French accent but they are very hard to understand when they get talking. I dont remember who it was but on the WSOP one French guy said all in and the other guy is like I hope you said all in and the French guy says yeah all in and he may have said it in French or something but it was funny (had to be there), I also have a French friend who says the word "focus" but the "foc" part sounds like with a "u" and we all crack up, he finally started saying it better.

It's very hard to learn english for some nations. Eg french, russian language is very unlike english.

"There are just as many low cards as high cards." - One of my fishy/call station room mates a few months back. The guy must have lost thousands over the course of a few months in house games.

"I raise to..." - when no one has even bet yet.

"I re-raise you...." - when someone has just bet but not raised yet, should have just been "raise".

Table talk - example, going crazy after they mucked (other players are still in the hand) and they see the flop - which is to say they probably just mucked the nuts.

Betting the wrong amount - for example, betting $1 post flop in a 1-2 game or re-raising $5 in a 1-2 game when the previous raise was $15....lol.

Thinking and getting upset when they call their AK down to the river (with no pair) and wondering why they lost - that one always makes me lol.

Yep the FTP 15 pt. free roll is up and running, its to the ftos main event, 180 players, 1 place pays, well guess what I hit the sucker last night for first place, another 2500 points in my account if I dont play, but I might go for this one, the prize if I qualify on the next round is 2.5 mil.

Its funny cause this is how I started with only 45 points, now if I take these points I will be up to 13500 give or take, think I will unregister and try for it again. LOL and I did this while half drunk to boot. This is one thing I hate about online poker, either your kicking ass and taking names or they are kicking your ass, seems there is no grey area to work with. Also wanted to throw a shot out to the CC free rolls after 3 or 4 weeks I finally placed, thank god, back to building my bank roll up again. Funny thing is I only have $3.60 in my account but I feel that with the points I have, that would take about $1000 to earn, seems I have been on a points gaining spree, my goal is to get into one of these mulit million dollar games and hit the final table, just once I would like my poker playing to pay off. Well on a side note you all have a happy V day today and cheers from madness.

Thanks for the info. and the complete derailment of this thread.

this one chinese guy who comes in to the local casino always says "unnnberievable" when he wins a pot, and "only i can doo it".

it's straight up a good time.