Funniest first remark by a newcomer to your table

I know most of these posts are about online poker but I had to share this even though it happened at a casino.

Picture this....Hard rock casino sitting at a $1/2 NL $100 buy-in table half tourists half players and we've been at it for a couple hours so we all kinda know eachother a bit now and a seat becomes available. Guy comes to the table with his tray of chips, wearing glasses a sweater and a hard rock casino hat (brand new) , an ipod hanging around his neck and a purse of some sort (prolly his wifes guarding it while she played slots or something). I swear this guy looked like a 2007 version of Jerry Lewis as the nutty professor. Anyway, guys standing there and puts down his chips and the dealer asks him if he wants to play or wait for BB and he says....."by all means deal me in" and he proceeds to take off his sweater,fumble with his ipod get something out his wifes purse etc.....the play comes to him and the dealer asks him ..check or bet...and he mumbles just a second ..now all eyes are on this guy and I look around and everyone has this stupified retarded look on they faces while we watch this guy set up camp. Finally this guy sits down puts his forearms on the table smiles looks around and says "oh I guess its up to me" looks down at his 2 hole cards and looks up and asks the dealer, I kid you not......."When do we get the other 3 cards"???? The guy 2 seats from me unfortunately was taking a sip from his beer and spewed it laughing. One of the women at the table started laughing so hard she mucked her cards and had to leave the table. The dealer between shaking her head and laughing yelled table 17 ..we need a clean up and a pair of underwear I think Mike just peed his pants.

LOL. I had stories where my friends would argue that they had two pair on a board of J 5 3 5 A with J-3 and say they won the hand but I told them I did and we argued about it but never have I seen anything like that HAA

lmao. did you stack him 2 or 3 times?

PMSL - I can't compete with that first comment. The most amusing I've seen (online) was "Thank you".

To explain (just in case necessary) when you sit at this particular online poker site, an automated message appears in the chat box saying "Welcome". This person must have assumed it was a personal greeting to him, and responded accordingly.

That was definitely the plan Ahab but he decided to watch a few hands while the button moved around the table and after 4 or 5 positions being asked "check or bet" he stands up begins to pack up and says "maybe I'll go find a 7 card stud table" . hehe

about peed myself reading this one, thanks for the story

Ok, this one was a great start for my morning (and now my kids think i must be 'tarded as i'm laughing so hard)

LMAO! That was a great story!

That was definitely one of the funnier stories I've heard lol

Nice one - great image of a fish out of water lol

LMAO.

Riff, I suggest you dig up your oldest English class skills, polish that story, and submit it to Poker Player, or Card Player for publication.

LMAO!

That is too funny, I laughed out loud. I had a similar experiance, unfortunatly for me the guy couldn't lose and played any two cards no matter what the raise. After losing another hand to his 8/5os rivered gutshot straight, I said "nice hand Mr.Hanson" and the rest of the table started laughing so hard that they didn't hear his reply of " you must have me mistaken for someone else" which made the dealer lose it. It took awhile for us to compose ourselves as every time we stopped laughing, someone would snicker and we would all start laughing again. Unfortunatly "Gus " left shortly after this when his rush stopped and he lost a bunch of big pots when he didn't hit runner/runner.

How about the player who folds their hand in the BB and checked to? Everyone at the table looked at each other like, "did you just see that?!"
And better yet, then the dealer informed them that they HAD the option to check, some of us about fell out of our seats when the dealer "karate chopped" the players arm as the reached across the table to get their cards out of the much pile!!!

When going all in, ask yourself, "Is this the hill I want to die on?"

That guy is a hero

Too funny!!!