anyone else ever had this problem

Has anyone ever had relationship problems because of gambling. Like I never thought of it as a problem but my girlfriend is TOTALLY against it. We havnt been together long (6months) and it seems like she is getting worse with complaining about it causing problems for us. I find its odd that there are some girls against it and some that are fine with it and like playing thereself. Anyways, just wondering if anyone else has ever been in my boat.

lucky for me, mine is supportive.

My wife complains when I get into the marathon tournys..but I still play.

Ive found you have to be able to multitask -and hold a conversation while playing..get a wireless laptop for online play

If she's dead set against gambling, is it a values thing? Or is she just pissed because you are not spending the time/money on her?

If its values...get a new girlfriend
If its jealousy..reassure her..and spend some $$ and time on her

Good Luck...please let us know how this turns out

Pretty easy solution...new girlfriend. NEXT!

If she cannot support something you obviously enjoy, it isn't meant to be. If you do actually 'have a problem' then this is something beyond girlfriend issues. With that you'll have to listen to yourself closer.

I think we need to see pictures before we make a final judgment here. I mean how hot is she?

Seriously, if it's that big a problem for her it's just not going to work. Move on and you'll both be happier. If it's a matter of her not understanding bring her here (wait scratch that) ...Teach her how to play and show her you're not just pissing your $$ away and that there is skill and knowledge involved in being a winning player.

6 months - early doors.

Take out some of your winnings, wine her, dine her and yeah you know the rest.

Treat her to something and explain she can have that everytime you win.

She'll be dragging you out of bed in the morning to play before you know it...

um were you playing poker when you first met 8 months ago? If so, why was it ok then and not now?

I think we all know the answer to that one; because she's a woman and she changed her mind! Now she's trying to change her man (that's what they do).

My wife is a bitch about poker except when I bring home big money. I once went down to Foxwoods and won some money. At first she wanted to leave me cause I went and then I gave her some spending money and it was all set.

Chics are all the same - money hungry bitchs!

To the OP.

I know exactly your situation and I can only sympathise with you.

I have been with my partner for over 6 years. She is totally against any sort of gambling, whether it be poker, lotto, scratch cards etc.

This is a values thing and principles thing for her due to her upbringing which I can't hold against her.

I started playing poker and getting into it about 2.5 years ago, so our relationship already had a good foundation. It became an issue very quickly and has continued to be one.

There have been times when I have thought I'd be better if I just left and then I could play whenever I like without fear of retrabution(sp?).

This become more complicated though when kids are involved. Alot of arguments we have are around this issue and it sometimes gets to the 'its poker or me' statement from her.

As time has gone by though we have had less arguments. The reason being I think is that she knows that i am not going to stop playing because I have told her it is a hobby and something I really enjoy doing.

I have regular Friday night games with mates and she knows this. I also play online.

We don't really talk about the poker issue anymore, or at least it hasn't been brought up for a while. I have tried to be sensitive to her values by only playing when shes either at work, in bed, or out for coffee etc.

She doesn't like me playing when shes in the room so I try not to do this and I generally log out of playing online when she is home.

Obviously this restricts the amount I can play and even though I'd love to play more, I need to respect her underlying reasons for not wanting anything to do with gambling.

I doubt she will ever truely understand why I love the game and I doubt i will ever truely understand why she cannot stand gambling to the point where even talking about it makes her angry.

I guess what i am saying is to lay the cards on the table and make her understand that you love the game however you also understand how she feels so will only play at certain times, or when she is not around etc.

I think in time she may come around to the idea of why you play or that it is just part of you but how long that will take I cannot tell you.

I hope things work out for you. For me they have so far, but there have been some bad patches along the way. However I think you get that in any relationship and if I wasn't with my current partner it maybe that if I had dated someone else they may have hated drinking, me hanging out with my mates so much etc.

She may not get over it. Be careful for that. My BnL (Sister's Hubby) and I only ever had 2 things we really enjoy; local racing and poker, ok and SEx. We don't go to boobie bars (often) we don't go to bars, we don't shoot pool; we simply went to Saturday night races (which we invited her to) and play poker OL 1 hour 4-5 times a week or so, so a total hobby/enjoyment time of 10 hours at most a week, outside of racing season 5 hours a week. But apparently this was too much for my Sis' and she left him recently. I still talk to him more than her, but that's a whole other story. So, if you're only dating you should make it clear to her that you enjoy doing this and you probably won't stop, and if you do stop you will probably resent her for making you do so. So she needs to figure out if it's really THAT big of a deal to her. If you stay with her you could always throw the whole "I could be spending my $$ at boobie bars, but I'm making $$ at home with you." even if you aren't making $$, you could leave the "making $$" part out and just let her know you're at home with her. Just make sure you set aside "her" time as well. It's definitely something to figure out NOW.

Don't mean to sound harsh but as has been said in earlier posts time for a trade in to a model that plays poker and has her own BR to do so.

some of these suggestions sound like turning her into a prostitute!! (spend more money on her, tell her you'll give her money from each win, and so on). If she will be quiet for money is this a person you want to share your life with? if there are no children involved, find someone who will share your hobby with you, not just tolerate it. My husband and I each have a computer and as we sit and play we share groans over bad beats and joy over suck outs. It's neat. (We never play on the same table). Out other togetherness idea starts in the morning. Each day we make two copies of the daily sudoko puzzle in the newspaper and turn it into a contest of who can solve it first. Incidently, we have been married 51 years and are enjoying our middle age together. The moral being, find someone to share your life, not just live beside you.

Look her straight in the eyes and say, " I am what I am. Love it or leave it cause you ain't gonna change it."



Unless she looks like this..

,,,kegger girl.jpg (http://www.cardschat.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=10098&d=1208448116)

Ill just say this, id never get involved with a girl that forces me to change my persona/style of living. If im playing poker, im playing poker, wheather you like it or not.

oh unless its above girl, id tap that first.

lol lots of this reminds me of the saying my mom likes:

"A woman marries a man thinking she can change him and a man marries a woman thinking she'll never change. They're both wrong."

You need to be able to find a balance where you both can do what you like to do (the other person really accepts it) or it's not going to work. I'm very lucky, because Rachel plays poker also. I play a lot more than she does, and I try to make sure that I plan my playing time around things that are important to her. I think that goes a long way toward making it work.

You have to be able to come to an agreement with her that you both can live with. If you can't do that, then it's time for either her or the poker to go away - it won't get better over time, no matter how much you avoid addressing the issue.

Another point to consider is that if the two of you can't come to a compromise over this, you should both be thankful that you found out early in the relationship. In the grand scheme of things, this isn't that big of a deal to work out, but it's good practice for the real problems that will come up in life.

Good luck.