GUARANTEED way to increase profits and make THOUSANDS of $$$$$!!!!

I was so excited about the incredible "Force Fold" idea (see previous thread - http://www.cardschat.com/t60624-oh-m...is-genius.html that i've taken the idea further and come up with some even better chat lines GUARANTEED to get opponents to fold or raise. I'm so confident these will work, i've just handed in my notice at work to become a full time poker pro!

(n.b whilst i'm posting these here to help you all become rich too, I will ask that you don't overuse them, as my financial future now depends on this incredible idea).

Here are a selection of ones i've come up with so far (further chat lines will be available soon for the low low price of $74.99).

- "I've never played before - is 3 of a kind good? (to be used when you HAVEN'T got 3 of a kind).

- "Damn, I was chasing straight, but missed it (to be used when you DID in fact make straight - extra money from suckers!!!).

- "I'm going all in next hand REGARDLESS of what hand i've got (n.b only go all in next hand if you get AA or KK!). OR - "next time i get 72os, i'm all in" (again you only actually go all in with a good hand - your opponents will think you have got 72os!!!).

- "I've logged on to my ex-husband's poker account, and i'm going to lose all of his money by deliberately playing to lose" (you then only actually play good hands, but your opponents will call because they think you are playing bad ones!!).

If you have any good ones do tell - i won't promise i'll cut you in on the profits, but i'll do my best.

"Crap, five red cards. All I have is black!" when five hearts show up on the board and you have the A K hearts. Your opponent will think he has you beat with his 6 of hearts!

"Do 3 spades and 2 diamonds make a full flush house?" When you actually have a monster hand. They will think you're a fish!

"IM SROROY FORR MY BADS SPELLLGING I AMM DRUINK"

To be used when you're not drunk.

I've seen this one in action. Guy says he's going all in next hand 'cos he has to go, gets called by a guy with 99, shows down KK, wins and an hour later despite "having to leave" I'm still at the same table with him.

"Excuse me dealer, I only got two cards."

Told ya - it's GUARANTEED!

"You've not got the ace have you?" (when there's flush on board and YOU'VE got the ace!).

I'm never going to have the nerve to say these in an actual game.

"I Have 2 Aces, can I split them?"

Or how about:

"Do you Have an Ace, We are playing Go Fish, Right?"

These will never work. The KEY to the other mind control statements was that you have to provide them with a choice. But the trick was that the two choices were really the SAME choice, just worded differently.

It's meant to be a joke.

I know, I was joking man. Being sarcastic and stuff..........

"This is my ex husbands account" is genius

There's just one problem....if a player's mouth (or keyboard! :-) is moving, he's lying! I never believe anything anyone says about their hand unless they show is to me...

That being said, I love the commercial where the guy goes all-in, flips up his hole cards and goes "Woo! Blackjack baby! 21!". The dealer goes, "That's fabulous sir, but we're playing poker." Think it's a Party Poker ad actually.

I agree with juiceeQ, I never believe anything anyone says at the poker table

This kinda stuff almost never works (except for the "gotta leave"). A good one that I saw working was that the player used EVERY SECOND alloted to him to play the hand. He would wait till the very last second and call raise or fold. REally annoyed the table and he won!!

I dont think many of these work as if someone says they have good or bad hands, they are probably tryin to get you to fold or call. The only good one is the im leavin but that is done too much by a lot of players.

These can be used well in games like omaha as not many people know how to play. Omaha has got different rules such as you have to use 3 of the community cards. I rememba when i 1st playd, i went all in when i had 4 diamonds in my hand and hit one diamond on the board (thought i had a flush) lol

Rob, you should know by now that everyone here loves to take jokes seriously.


(Genius by the way, hahaha)


Jon

haha, i've actually seen people try to pull stuff like that on sites. It does seem to work from time to time though.

yeah i like the force fold to its really good idea

ya i think its a great idea

they need to shorten the time to make a play on some sites to, its like 2 mins and thats just to long

Wow you are a complete moron that would never work!! hope you dont actually quit your day job!

hope you dont quit your day job because that startegy sounds moronic

You're right, it doesn't work. I did quit my day job, but after losing my entire bankroll I had to beg for my job back. Luckily they took me back.

It's a shame, I really thought they would work. I wish i was as astute as you obviously are.