Funny Table Chat

I almost never talk at the table, but this one was too good to pass up. I was three-handed in a Sng and got AQ on the button. I reraised and the SB called. Flop came Q-rag-rag, he bet and I shove, so he folds. He went on for a minute about how he had me crushed or something, so I asked him why he folded then. So he said he was too busy cuming on my mom tits, hahahah. We went back and forth for a while, I had him beat the entire game (I had 3x his stack at one point) but then I got knocked out by the third player. I just wish I could have outlasted that d-bag!

Any other good table arguments anyone would like to share?

There are no good table arguments, its pointless and not really constructive. Wonder why people turn chat off.

Well that's why I don't usually talk, but you never know what crazy things you can hear.

hWell I do have a story, yet it was in a cash game. Long story short, me and this guy at .5/1nl were going back and forth all night long, and I was just waiting to catch him. The whole thing started like hours prior to this hand I'm about to explain.

First big hand, was we were like 200 and 300 BBs deep, and the guy bumped it in the cutoff, anyways, I would fold all night long in the bb, with crap (But this time, I had AKs), so he bumped it to $4.50, I reraised to $14, he calls, Flop came, 2H, 9H, As, I bumped it like 20ish or so, he reraised to like $55ish, I thought, and thought, and jammed it the rest right there, Guy insta calls me, and turn is QH (I got the flush yet he had a set, QQ), river was A 9, and he crushed my Flush. That's the hand it all started from.

The hand, that I blew up at him was I flopped a set, against his top pair, and he went on to RR a higher boat against me, anyways, the guy started talking about how shitty of a player I am, and how I don't belong in his weight class, and how I should leave the table, and how i'm broke, and this and that, so the ppl, at the table actually started sticking up for me, and later on he lost all his monies, mind you, the guy was a complete ass, and really just lucky, now adays though, I rarely talk on the tables peroid.

I love the chat. It makes the game so much more real, and sometimes is very entertaining, even when it gets nasty. I can't tell you how many times I'm brought to tears just LMAO.

Not a big fan of chatting myself. Pet peeve of mine is everyone saying nh to someone who got lucky. Some use it to tilt others, although i cant say its ever worked on me. I believe poker should be played with class. Important to win and lose with dignity and without chastising others. If someone cracks me with luck, no need to educate them and make them better. Want them to play same way the next time. Have been amused over the years over some of the things people will say to each other. Most of it would never happen in a live game.

I Just read "Hoss_TBF's" blog and he posted a chatbattle with good old PHIL HELLMUTH !!

http://hoss-tbf.livejournal.com/

So hilarious!! lol..

best lines imo:

LOL @ letting the sessions reviewed by security!!! Hoss the new superuser!! ROFL

don t chat much do like to watch the people go hostile on each other even when they try to get me best response is no response let the cards do the talkin do like to say[ the cryin towels are at the end of the table for ya though ] that usually induces them to get off there game lol.

Oh, that stuff wouldn't even faze me. I got one for ya happened to me last July. It wasn't real abusive, but it was pretty funny...


Hilarious chat w/begger at FT freeroll yesterday

Jul 10, 2008 5:25 pm

I deleted all the hand play, just leaving the hand # info so you could see how long this went on. And when she was done with me, started on thomasfishin, but I flatter myself to say he was less amusing/amused....

Full Tilt Poker Game #7150715539: $100 Freeroll (54260282), Table 64 - 15/30 - Pot Limit Omaha Hi - 13:41:08 ET - 2008/07/09 (partial)
collin10cd: HI ALL,,,CAN ANYONE LEND ME...CENTS TO PLAY?

Full Tilt Poker Game #7150740411: $100 Freeroll (54260282), Table 64 - 15/30 - Pot Limit Omaha Hi - 13:43:34 ET - 2008/07/09
collin10cd: HI ALL,,,CAN ANYONE LEND ME...CENTS TO PLAY?

Full Tilt Poker Game #7150752175: $100 Freeroll (54260282), Table 64 - 15/30 - Pot Limit Omaha Hi - 13:44:47 ET - 2008/07/09
collin10cd: HI ALL,,,CAN ANYONE LEND ME...CENTS TO PLAY?
thomasfishin: go get a job loser
divebich: you mean 'sense'?
collin10cd: yes
collin10cd: divebich have you dollars than??
divebich: dollars AND sense
collin10cd: can i borrow

Full Tilt Poker Game #7150768010: $100 Freeroll (54260282), Table 64 - 15/30 - Pot Limit Omaha Hi - 13:46:25 ET - 2008/07/09
divebich: but running a little low on both
collin10cd: ik pay you back,, i promis
thomasfishin: yu have better luck standin out on the street with a sign
collin10cd: can i borrow than????
divebich: but not low enough on sense to transfer you any
collin10cd: how much have you than??
broughty: wat a silly question who would lend money on here you dope
divebich: just $150,228
thomasfishin: get lost you loser
collin10cd: $5 dollars ,, i pay you back
divebich: sure, anyone else?
collin10cd mucks
broughty wins the pot (2,610) with a flush, Jack high
collin10cd stands up

thomasfishin: i only want 1 dollar
divebich: Remember Bernard Getz? I got $5 for each of you.
broughty: plays like that and wants a loan
collin10cd (Observer): divebich can you send me $5 than??
divebich: yeah, would be throwing good money after bad (sigh)
broughty: you wouldnt lend it would you
divebich: why not, it's just a loan - hehehe

Full Tilt Poker Game #7150808355: $100 Freeroll (54260282), Table 64 - 15/30 - Pot Limit Omaha Hi - 13:50:32 ET - 2008/07/09
collin10cd (Observer): divebich dus i have now $5 from you??
divebich: hey is 4 pair better than 2 pair? [collin was raising in omaha with her 4 prs]
collin10cd (Observer): or not?
divebich: lmao - never give up!
collin10cd (Observer): divebich have you send me $5 OR NOT?
collin10cd (Observer): divebich have you send me $5 ,, or not??

Full Tilt Poker Game #7150825008: $100 Freeroll (54260282), Table 64 - 20/40 - Pot Limit Omaha Hi - 13:52:11 ET - 2008/07/09
collin10cd (Observer): divebich????
divebich: sorry hon
collin10cd (Observer): why don`t you send?
collin10cd (Observer): yuo have enough

Full Tilt Poker Game #7150835360: $100 Freeroll (54260282), Table 64 - 20/40 - Pot Limit Omaha Hi - 13:53:13 ET - 2008/07/09
divebich: cuz i think you need a little more practice in the freerolls
collin10cd (Observer): i pay you back ,, i promis you
collin10cd (Observer): i pay you back
collin10cd (Observer): please

Full Tilt Poker Game #7150849424: $100 Freeroll (54260282), Table 64 - 20/40 - Pot Limit Omaha Hi - 13:54:38 ET - 2008/07/09
collin10cd (Observer): divebich??
thomasfishin: hey i will loan you money if you leave us alone
collin10cd (Observer): oke
divebich: don't encourage her lol
thomasfishin: not a her it a dude
collin10cd (Observer): nice deal

Full Tilt Poker Game #7150864341: $100 Freeroll (54260282), Table 64 - 20/40 - Pot Limit Omaha Hi - 13:56:08 ET - 2008/07/09
collin10cd (Observer): send it to collin10cd (like we needed this info)
divebich: lol
thomasfishin: how much yu need?

Full Tilt Poker Game #7150872842: $100 Freeroll (54260282), Table 64 - 20/40 - Pot Limit Omaha Hi - 13:56:59 ET - 2008/07/09
collin10cd (Observer): $10
thomasfishin: when will you pay me back?
collin10cd (Observer): or more
thomasfishin: are you a girl or guy?
collin10cd (Observer): have you send it al??

Full Tilt Poker Game #7150882560: $100 Freeroll (54260282), Table 64 - 20/40 - Pot Limit Omaha Hi - 13:57:57 ET - 2008/07/09
collin10cd (Observer): thomasfishin have you send it??
collin10cd (Observer): thomasfishin have you send dollars to me??
thomasfishin: answer my quetions/
collin10cd (Observer): what is your question??

Full Tilt Poker Game #7150903802: $100 Freeroll (54260282), Table 64 - 20/40 - Pot Limit Omaha Hi - 14:00:05 ET - 2008/07/09
collin10cd (Observer): what is your question
thomasfishin: are you a girl and when will you pay me back
collin10cd (Observer): yes i`am a girl , and i pay you back when i have win a much


Full Tilt Poker Game #7150917735: $100 Freeroll (54260282), Table 64 - 25/50 - Pot Limit Omaha Hi - 14:01:29 ET - 2008/07/09
collin10cd (Observer): i pay you back
collin10cd (Observer): i promis
collin10cd (Observer): thomasfishin now good??

This stuff ^^^ just irritates me so much ><! the only interesting conversations ive had at poker are in live games, or home games. It's rare having people act like a complete douche bag in a live game.

Divebich...its funny for us read, but man, that would of bugged the hell out of me. I'd report the guy for harrassment!

hahah, I just wonder if Thomas actually transferred the funds of if he was just messing with him.

table chat is good. it is how i got referred to the site. and you do meet some interesting people. and it is fun to talk to idiots sometimes. they don't realize how stupid they are. it is quite funny!

Way too funny DB!

About a year ago I was watching Hoyt Corkins playing $200.00/$400.00 HU against a guy for Sweden and sure enough, some wise guy was trying to borrow a few bucks. Too funny seeing a guy beg for ten bucks when they were playing pots of up to 8K. Needless to say his begging went un-answered.

BTW, Hoyt made 18 grand in about 20 minutes, even though he had to make a 4K rebuy once.

Thats just tff!!! I was crying on my keyboard. Can I borrow $10 for a new one? LMAO!

I like to chat when on single table, but when I have more open I tend to type on the wrong table alot. Just gets boreing sometimes waiting on hands, so Ill just say any stupid thing that comes to mind to kick off a conversation.
I do hate those people that get really vulgar thou. I had one guy cussing me out cause I beat him with KK vs his 9 10 suited. I dont remmeber the board, but he starts in with;
You havent played a hand for 15 mins and then you get KK. How lucky can this guy be? You must be the luckiest guy on this rigged site. (add in your choice words for guy/you/ect.)
All I could do was laugh. Hmm I havent played a hand for a while, but when I do its a good one....well, yaaaaa.
Knocked him out a few hands later.

That was pretty damn funny. My favorite line:

Philhellmuth: never seen a guy win with 10-4 off suit more than you
hoss_tbf: i prefer the term "10-4 double suited"

There was some pro who said he preferred his hand 'off suit' because it had 2 flush opportunities. If it was Phil, the above is even funnier.

Seemed some others were annoyed, but I was thoroughly amused. I did report her/him though, because if she's being this relentless at one table, even long after busting out, she's probably doing it everywhere.

If you look at his chat early on, I seriously doubt it.

Well it seems to make more sense to beg guys that wouldn't miss $10 instead of begging in a freeroll. Gotta appreciate the irony in that.

Yeah, you can see she was out in 5 hands. I think she won a couple early hands with some wild raising. At a new table you never know, right? But not for long.

Maybe I can get us a bulk discount on the keyboards. Half the letters are gone on mine. I seem to go through them like that (if they last that long after having been spilled on or spit at enough).

It's funny too when I get chewed out by someone on a $1 table, like they're that much better than me... At least I don't get many people begging for money there

I like to keep it real at the tables.
I never use crap mouth type chat and dont enjoy it when others do.
But I will keep it interesting at times.


Roller:
Always show respect at the tables.

It's fun every once in a while. Sometimes it lightens up the table. Also, sometimes it's nice to talk a little bit to shake a tight table image. By talking nonsense in the chat, someone might be more likely to call your raises when you actually have a hand

I guess there are a million stories to tell about chat at the table.

As a rule, I will leave the chat on in a Freeroll because dont take them to seriously, since I have no money invested.

When playing real money the chat goes off and also the Avatars. Both are distracting to me.

My funny "chat" story is:

One play bet a extra large amount of chips in a NL Texas game.

Two other players began to berate him for making such a large bet on such a small pot.

After he was taken "over the coals" pretty good by the two other players, his coment was"

"hey, this is a no limit game is it not" and he said not more. haha

It just struck me as humorous. And, a good come back.

Well, hang in there with the Jerks at the tables. There are lots of them out there. And, dont forget the mute button.

GL,

mange

this stuff is really funny. I am in the mind set that "collin10cd" is putting everyone on.

Really enjoyed reading the chat about the guy/gal trying to bum a few cents LMAO

Keep the good threads coming.

mange

i like to chat on the tables you could really pick up some tells if you chat correctly. i have put people on hands that they had bye the conversation we had during the game. So its not all bad use it at as a tool.

If not that, I've seen lots of people go on tilt because of chat, or at least show their tilt because of their chat. Great time to make a move.

Live tournament , Player states. " I had an open end straight draw....BOTH ENDS",

we will never let him live it down.

Chat can give you a table image very quickly where as your style of play may take a bit for others to catch on.

Also moving from table to table in a tourney can be very counter productive to your image.
With proper chat you can gain some of your Respect and Table Image back very quickly.



Roller:

Play the player not the Cards.

Hah, good but not great moment today, no profanity or slurs to note. I was playing a cash game just now and a player got mad at me cause I checked JTo in the BB and I hit two pair on the flop so I called his cap bet. He had a flush draw, and he called me a noob and questioned why I would play that hand, and that he was the undeniable favorite to win the hand. I gotta stop playing the .01/.02, these people are nuts...