When I first started learning the game, I thought of it as a “let’s hope I get something good”-game. A little bit like a lottery. It was me against the cards.

Slowly, gradually, I began realizing that my opponents mattered a lot, too. The game turned into “let’s hope I get something better than my opponents.” It was my cards against my opponents’ cards.

Much later still, I figured out that not only does it matter what my opponents have, but also what they think I have, and what they think I think they have. It was now a war of the minds.

I didn’t do so well.

I’m not stupid. There must be a reason why, when I can clearly see how awfully some of my opponents play, I’m not crushing these games. And I figured it out. I know why, and I’m on my way to take care of this giant leak in my game:

The enemy is me.

I’m no longer playing a game of cards, nor a war of the minds. I’m sitting down at the table, and it’s myself I’m playing.

Look, I know how to count outs, I know when to bet for value, when to bluff with a weak hand, when to raise to thin the field, when to smooth call to induce future bluffs. I can steal blinds, I can manipulate opponents, I can play correctly against a wide variety of different kinds of players. The only thing that stands between me and a much bigger profit is myself, because I don’t always do these things. Instead, I lose the battle against myself and yield to impulses and make -EV plays. I play despite being pissed off that the cards seem to have it in for me tonight, or despite being tired, or hungry, or distracted.

I know so many things about this game that it baffles me that I just today figured out that my opponent is myself.

But now I know. And I’m about to kick my own ass, one way or the other.

–

When I made my comeback to online poker a year and a half ago, I surfed around for different poker articles, and came across a humorous list of “steps you take as a poker player.” Funny list, but I can’t find it anymore. Either way, step 21 or so on that list was “You finally understand what Tommy Angelo is talking about.” Of course, like everyone does, I figured myself to be God’s gift to poker, or at least future gift to poker; I realized there was maybe a thing or two I needed to learn. After all, I’m not stupid. Looking to gauge myself, I went down the list and (incorrectly) assumed that I was past all those steps already until I got to #21. “Who the hell is Tommy Angelo?”

So I did a search. Found his homepage. I read his articles. I didn’t get them.

But since the list was supposed to be a joke, I figured that his name was just on there as a joke. Maybe no one gets him.

…

So about a week ago, I went on a “let’s see what’s going on with other blogs”-hunt, and worked myself through the most recent posts of some blogs I read from time to time. Turns out Bill Rini recently did an entry about Tommy, and after reading it I wondered if maybe, this time around, I would get his articles? I went back to his homepage and re-read them, plus he had apparently been posting some new stuff.

I didn’t get them.

Dammit.

Then, today, as I’m walking home from work - something that takes just shy of 30 minutes - I suddenly started getting them. Now, don’t get too excited; I said started getting them.

Maybe I’m at step 20.5 on that list now? Probably not. I’m likely still overvaluing myself. At least I’m making progress.