I can just barely remember what it feels like to have a winning week. That said, I’m still optimistic. Stubbornly so. Maybe stupidly so. I feel like I’m making mostly the right decisions, and the fact that the other guy checkraises my KK with a rivered two pair can’t be helped. It’s been a learning experience for me, and if I’d believe in karma or higher purpose, I’d say that someone is trying to teach me not to be complacent. Because that’s what I’ve been.

I’ve slacked off. I’ve played 3-4 tables, lazily. I pay some attention to reads, and I suppose I try to play OK, but the fact of the matter is that I’ve played these tables with the intention of grinding out hands, with minimal effort. I don’t like admitting it (it’s an ugly truth) but some of this downswing is my own fault. And I hate having myself to blame for even part of it.

All of it isn’t, though, and whereas I try to learn from the parts that are my responsibility, I take comfort in the parts that aren’t. I’ve been unlucky. I’ve gotten little action on my power hands, been outdrawn more than my share and gotten less than my share of draws that hit. It happens. I’ve tilted off some money too, probably. That, too, happens.

But now, I can’t afford it to happen for awhile. I need to get a plan that prevents me from playing lazily and keeps me sharp. This plan is easy - and I’ve done it before. Now, no session will be more than about 100 hands, which if I play two tables means about 20-30 minutes. Then a break, do something else, then another 100 hands.

I have a really, really long road back. But I’m not in a hurry - and I know I can get there if I work hard. Thinking that I could get there without hard work is what got me in trouble, and I’ve learned from it. It’s time to roll up the sleeves.

/FP